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Found husband on two marriage websites while pregnant

(13 Posts)
ahsan Thu 25-Aug-16 10:38:38

Just need alittle advise, he has always did this while I was pregnant, talk to women online and found him even trying to give one women his number, which of course he denied. Just need some support really as I'm 10 weeks pregnant with our 3rd and never expected to find this stuff from him as I honestly really did trust him. I'm thinking of walking away as got my own place already. He told me he made these two accounts when we had split two years ago but don't buy his story and when asking him for the password he pulled the I can't remember crap on me, saw other site but found nothing on it other then his picture and profile. Just alittle upset as he's done rubbish with both my two pregnancies, don't know maybe stupid but wasn't expecting it again sad

AnchorDownDeepBreath Thu 25-Aug-16 10:43:42

I honestly really did trust him

I think he's proven that you can't. This is your lot with him - he'll always be on the lookout for other women, and he'll always lie to you about it.

I'd leave because he seems to have no respect for you, and he has had many chances to change and hasn't bothered. He has proven that he is a leopard that cannot change his spots, really.

You can stay, if you'd like, but for the sake of yourself and your children, you'd need to do it knowing that you can't trust him and that he'll probably be either talking to other women or looking for women. For some people, that's an acceptable compromise. You could ask him to be subtler so you don't see it wherever you go, but as he's been crap at keeping his secrets so far, I'm not sure he'd be capable of it.

If you do leave, prepare yourself for him to be shocked - he'll be expecting you to forgive and forget like you've done in the past. He'll probably cry a bit - they'll likely be genuine tears, but he'll be crying that he's been caught, not that he's sorry. He'll probably promise that he'll change, and when that doesn't work, he'll get bitter and accusatory. Remember that he's had plenty of chances to change, and so far, he hasn't bothered. He won't.

I am sorry flowers Is he around today or do you have some space?

ahsan Thu 25-Aug-16 10:48:38

Well he's at work now, was going to walk out yesterday but it was 12 at night so couldn't but I'll be going today. He did say he wanted me to leave as well as I shouldn't have been going through his phone. Twists the crap to make out like I'm the bad one.

TheBriarAndTheRose Thu 25-Aug-16 10:49:28

Why did you trust someone when there were so many obvious reasons not to?

Why weren't you expecting him to do it this time when he had done it in 100% of your previous pregnancies?

Why haven't you ended it already?

Honestly, there are so many decent men, or there is singledom. Why on earth are you tolerating this?

DollyBarton Thu 25-Aug-16 10:51:04

This is not a good relationship. Save yourself and your kids for a better future for you all.

ahsan Thu 25-Aug-16 10:56:33

Yes I know you guys are right. Just haven't had much support around me and did split with him once and found he would take the kids and I would be sitting there lonely and depressed at home. I was studying so some days he would take them before I got home others he would knock and just take them. We do have fun but doesn't buy me much sad hasn't brought me clothes or anything else in that matter for years other then shopping and a pair of shoes sad then says he has no money

TamaraHiddlestoned Thu 25-Aug-16 11:09:38

His behaviour is appalling.
If he stays with you, he is a very lucky man.
He cannot keep doing this & stay.
What motivates him - Is he insecure? Bored? Enjoys the thrill of the chase?
(Or just a selfish lying bustard?)
You need to choose what you're prepared to put up with.
Good luck x

hellsbellsmelons Thu 25-Aug-16 11:12:09

Sounds like you will better off mentally and financially without him.
Get onto CAB and find out what benefits and tax credits you would be entitled to.
Also get onto CSA and see what you should get in maintenance from him.
I also think a call to Womens Aid might help you here.
Sounds abusive to me and they can help you to see this.
Get out though.
He won't want the kids full time.
He works full time and you have been resident parent so far so why would that change?
Will he give up working full time to have the kids?
How is he going to breastfeed the baby???
It's a threat all abusers use so pay no attention.
If you can get Womens Aid to support you and you can show domestic abuse then you could get legal aid so free legal support.
They can also help you with local support services.
Give them a call 0808 2000 247
Good luck with getting away, he sounds awful.

MohammedLover Thu 25-Aug-16 11:13:32

Have a happy New life then. Your children deserve a better role model. Being loved is not relative to money being spent on you. Gather your strength, it will be ok in the end.

ahsan Thu 25-Aug-16 11:19:36

He just told me to fuck off. Got no respect at all. Yes leaving guys as he's not worth it sad go see my father as I'm upset

FreeFromHarm Thu 25-Aug-16 11:39:05

Listen to HellBells, you can do this , you are worth more than this... and its all bs about taking the kids.. all mouth, so do not worry about that .

hellsbellsmelons Thu 25-Aug-16 12:02:48

Absolutely go and get some RL support.
If your father can help support you through this is will be a massive help.
Get away and get some love and support.
Get your head cleared and tell your family and friends everything about this low life.
Absolutely everything.
Don't leave anything out.
It will make it very real for you but will be a great release.

debbs77 Sat 27-Aug-16 19:57:07

How are you now OP?

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