I'm abit all over the place at the moment so please be kind to me.
I've been with DH for 6 years, married for two. We have three DC eldest is from a past relationship, my youngest is just 4 months old.
I had a terrible time prior to meeting DH when my ex had been having an affair behind my back and left me for the OW. I was very young at the time and had a small baby. It was a hard time in my life I was quite depressed and lost a considerable amount of weight boarding on annoxeria. I began going out socialising with friends and meet DH would I adored, we moved in together got engaged and I thought I finally had my happy ending.
I found messages old ones from 5 years ago asking an events promoter to delete photos of him with some randomer- I haven't seen the photos in question as the events coordinator deleted them but my heart stank, DH said she kissed him when he was drunk and he pushed her off after the photo was taken.( I know i should have been snooping) I feel so cheated into what I thought was a loving relationship, if I had found out back then I would of walked away but 6 years down the line with three DCS almost thirty I don't think I can do that to the children but at the same time i'm wondering if anything else has happened throughout our whole relationship i'm questioning everything. I don't understand why he would marry and have children with me if he had done that, i wondering if people were laughing at me behind my back.
Back then I was fairly attractive and much slimmer his friends would tell him how lucky he was, but now its a struggle to get ready with small children or to find time to get a decent hair cut. I feel utterly worthless no one would want to be with me and I feel like part of my confidence has been destroyed. What really upset me the most is I've been loyal throughout the relationship, I feel pretty gullible and embarrassed. Its just such a difficult time in my life to leave, everything ups in the air with the youngest DS regarding his health and I know my other two Dc would be devastated if we split. Its harder this time round as theres more DC to think of and I cant rely on my parents like I did the first time round. I guess I just feel so hopeless.
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Relationships
Am i able to forgive?
11 replies
Heartonmysleeve1 · 25/08/2016 07:29
OP posts:
0dfod ·
25/08/2016 09:03
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