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Is this normal to say about sex

(38 Posts)
Melmelmel687 Tue 23-Aug-16 19:02:30

Been with my DH for two years he told me last night sex with me lasts longer before it was a min now with me he can last ten. He later said its because it was just sex before but with you it has meaning. What does everyone think to his comments?

Cary2012 Tue 23-Aug-16 19:11:07

Not a lot to be honest.

So he considers ten minutes a marathon? You're being very short changed OP.

midcenturymodern Tue 23-Aug-16 19:18:14

1min? At what point does he start the stopwatch?

Melmelmel687 Tue 23-Aug-16 19:20:12

But thoughts on what he said?

Justmuddlingalong Tue 23-Aug-16 19:22:09

I would presume he thought that it was a flattering comment. How do you feel, OP?

ivykaty44 Tue 23-Aug-16 19:25:07

Are you seriously suggesting that your love making is ten mi yes from start to finish?

What he Needs to be sayiBg to you is

How can I pleasure you
Your pleasure needs to come first

PepsiPenguin Tue 23-Aug-16 19:25:54

He doesn't sound very much like he is interested in your pleasure at all, I hope it's not just ten minutes for everything.

But agree he likely thinks he is being flattering

chitofftheshovel Tue 23-Aug-16 19:26:27

That he's never felt the way he does about you for anyone else, is my interpretation.

How did you take it?

WhereIsMyPlaydough Tue 23-Aug-16 19:27:10

is he very self-conscious of the fact he doesnt last long and was making a kind of excuse? I dont think there is a correlation between 'lasting longer' and sex being meaningful, sounds like he's trying to placate you with words to me. Is he rather young?

midcenturymodern Tue 23-Aug-16 19:29:52

I don't understand his comment, partly because I don't understand the 'how long it lasts' bit. How long what lasts? His erection, in which case it's supposed to be flattering as he fancies you enough to keep a stiff longer. Or is it the time from....I dunno....some sort of starting point to orgasm, in which case he's saying he could really crack them out fast with all those tarts he didn't care about. I'm struggling for context.

I think maybe he thinks it's flattering to say he's never fallen in meaningfulness with anyone. I also think he sounds like he views sex as a performance based on his staying power. How many times do you orgasm in the 10 min allocation? Does he know? Does he care?

TheNaze73 Tue 23-Aug-16 19:43:31

10 minutes is hardly Shabba....

I think he was trying to be kind however, it could be easily read as everyone turned me on a lot more.

SandyY2K Tue 23-Aug-16 19:57:53

So is he saying it lasted one minute with other women, but 10 minutes with you?
Whatever he meant, I think it was intended to be complementary.

wowbutter Tue 23-Aug-16 20:04:38

Same with my DH. Back in the day he would be very fast, and now he can last longer.
It takes practice, and if you are thinking about 'making luurve' to that person, things do last longer.

PsychedelicSheep Tue 23-Aug-16 20:35:04

10 mins?! Is that including foreplay or just the humping? Either way it's pretty piss poor.

As to thoughts to why he said it, I can only assume because he thought you'd be charmed and impressed. Fuck knows why.

blushingbrightly Tue 23-Aug-16 20:39:15

The question to ask, surely, is: do you enjoy sex with him? And do you think you'd enjoy it more if it lasted longer?

Interesting to see posts immediately insisting 10 minutes is rubbish. There was a recent thread about how long sex lasted with most people saying they thought 15 minutes was plenty - this was just the PIV bit though, not build up or anything else.

Justaboy Wed 24-Aug-16 21:27:19

11 Minutes it seems;!.

paulocoelhoblog.com/2012/05/11/11-minutes-2/

CaspoFungin Wed 24-Aug-16 21:36:31

Yeah the actual sex bit doesn't go on for much longer than 15-20 mins surely? I suppose it depends how long it takes you to orgasm, me it's about 5 mins of sex if the foreplay has been good! I hate long sex.

Anyway thoughts on what he said, he was trying to compliment you saying sex lasts longer now, maybe cos he's more comfortable and relaxed? Plus he's probably getting it more often so doesn't finish as quick.

Ginkypig Wed 24-Aug-16 22:33:04

I assume you mean the actual pig part of sex rather than the whole thing op

I think he is trying to be complimentary to you. He only thought about his pleasure and quickly took it but with you his emotions for you extends things?

Ginkypig Wed 24-Aug-16 22:33:46

Haha grin I obvi meant piv not pig!

TytoAlba Thu 25-Aug-16 02:18:35

I think it's his way of showing some sort of a commitment, but it does sound a bit of a clumsy way to do that. I'm with blushingbrightly, it's more about how you enjoy the ten minutes, or if you want or need more.

VioletBam Thu 25-Aug-16 02:54:19

Ten minutes is very fast OP. Especially if that includes foreplay. DH and I have worked for the last ten years to get some togetherness with sex and when it's done well, with both of us right into it...it takes about two hours!

e1y1 Thu 25-Aug-16 02:55:28

I'd seen somewhere that the "average" PIV was 5.4 mins shock.

What was the rest of the conversation about and what do you think of the sex you have together? Do you both do things that you enjoy, and for the right amount of time for you to get fulfilment out of it?

What was the rest of the conversation about and what do you think of the sex you have together? Do you both do things that you enjoy, and for the right amount of time for you to get fulfilment out of it?

Melmelmel687 Thu 25-Aug-16 19:36:19

Yes ten mins for everything. I feel let down as its same position
With prev gf he did new things with me i suggest new he isnt keen

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