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Digital photo sharing

(16 Posts)
GoldenOrb Tue 23-Aug-16 17:46:44

I know the rational and reasonable answer to this, but as I'm not really feeling either of those things at the moment I'm looking for a voice of reason on here.

I'm splitting from my husband. Since the kids have been born, I have taken thousands and thousands of photos and videos on my camera and phone. I organise them every so often and they are all stored on an external hard drive. I rarely print them out. H has taken a few in his time, but it's me who has taken the vast majority.

He wants me to copy all photos I have taken across to him.

I know that is a reasonable thing to ask, but I am being a bitch and don't want to do it.

He also wants copies of all future photos I take after we split.

It's ok to say no to that, right?

forumdonkey Tue 23-Aug-16 17:49:40

Why wouldn't you? What if he'd had taken the external hard drive, would you want him to copy them for you?

Missgraeme Tue 23-Aug-16 17:49:43

Agree to pics from when u were a couple but he is more than capable of taking his own pics from now on.

pasic Tue 23-Aug-16 17:53:07

Old ones yes, new ones are none of his business.

category12 Tue 23-Aug-16 17:55:41

The first is reasonable, and would be a nice thing to do. I don't know if he actually has the right to them, tho, they would be your copyright. But I think it would just be mean not to.

The second, no way. He doesn't have the right to intrude into your life that way. When things have settled, it would be kind to share special occasion photos he misses, like first day back at school or whatever, if you're feeling it. But no, he makes his own memories and takes his own pictures from now.

Mum4Fergus Tue 23-Aug-16 17:58:19

Get him to provide you with another external hard drive and copy everything to for new stuff, suggest it's up to him now ...

tribpot Tue 23-Aug-16 17:59:22

Bit of a ballache copying thousands of photos and videos, but tell him to buy his own external hard drive and you'll sort it out. Do you have a laptop with two USB ports in, so you can copy direct from one drive to another, without having to save them all on the hard drive first?

Future photos - no chance. If they have development milestones (standing, walking, first tooth to come in or come out etc) still to come you might want to offer to send photos of them if they happen whilst in your care rather than his, on the understanding that he reciprocates, but he can take his own photos of his own children.

GraciesMansion Tue 23-Aug-16 17:59:57

Technically, as you took the photos you own them. However it would be nice to share them. I wouldn't share future ones though, let him take his own.

whywonthedgehogssharethehedge Tue 23-Aug-16 18:02:35

Old ones yes I would run off a copy. If they are organised it's not a huge chore and they were taken for you as a family unit.

New ones he should be taking imo although I would send him some from important events eg Christmas, birthdays, school plays etc that he can't be there for.

CannotEvenDeal Tue 23-Aug-16 18:02:39

Old ones, yes.
New ones, jog on mate!

TheBriarAndTheRose Tue 23-Aug-16 18:02:50

Agree with the others. Share photos up to now, but not future ones unless you want to.

My exh occasionally share post split photos of the children if we want to share a specific event, but don't as a rule.

whywonthedgehogssharethehedge Tue 23-Aug-16 18:03:49

Yes to him giving you an external drive or large memory stick to copy them onto.

AstrantiaMallow Tue 23-Aug-16 18:11:04

OK for old photos if he supplies a hard drive of his choice.
No for new photos, but I would simply ignore the request for now. My abusive exh hasn't seen our children for months (his choice) but asks me for photos from time to time. Erm, no. I never respond. I guess in a friendlier divorce you could agree to swap photos but I wouldn't make it a big conversation in the early days anyway.

Cabrinha Tue 23-Aug-16 19:03:59

It would be odd to say no to the past ones I think.
If it will take more than an hour, tell him you'll get a con putter place to do it and that the charge from them + an external hard drive is £x

Future ones? He can fuck right off!

TheNaze73 Tue 23-Aug-16 19:56:17

Think you'd be a bit out of order not sharing the ones from when you were together

HeddaGarbled Tue 23-Aug-16 23:06:32

Yes, imagine if it was the other way round and he wouldn't let you have any photos of your children. Awful, heartbreakingly mean & nasty. TBH, he won't know if you just give him some rather than all, if you can't be bothered to copy the lot. But don't be mean, make sure he gets some nice ones from all life stages.

However, totally reasonable not to send any more from now on. If he wants photos now, he'll have to make an effort and take some himself.

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