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why doesn't it bother me my husband uses escorts?

(95 Posts)
wildsummerflowers Tue 23-Aug-16 15:38:53

is it possible for a relationship to be good and for the sex side of things just to be separate? It really genuinely doesn't bother me but it should. I feel people would be horrified if they knew.

crayfish Tue 23-Aug-16 15:48:15

I don't think it is possible. An affair or open relationship maybe, but 'escorts'? You know that escorts are prostitutes I assume? And that prostitutes are, for the most part, extremely vulnerable women who are generally coerced or forced into selling sex either by men or as a result of, usually desperate, circumstances? That they are generally damaged and harmed by being exploited by men like your partner? And you are 'OK' with that are you? Never mind what it says about your relationship, I think that says a lot about you.

HuskyLover1 Tue 23-Aug-16 15:48:55

I couldn't do it. I'd be insanely jealous if my DH wanted another woman. But we have a healthy sex life. I am guessing that you don't want sex with your DH. The question would be why not?

TheNaze73 Tue 23-Aug-16 15:51:05

i would have no respect for somebody that had to pay for sex. If it works for you however op & your DP then fair play to you

WombOfOnesOwn Tue 23-Aug-16 15:51:23

Maybe you just hate women. Including yourself. Most prostitutes are in that line of work from desperation. Your husband is raping women who don't want to be there and coming home to you. What a lovely open minded wife he must find you to be, someone who will tolerate his use of other unwilling women as toilets he can relieve his urges into.

--signed, a former "sex worker"

littlejeopardy Tue 23-Aug-16 15:52:33

What crayfish said.

wildsummerflowers Tue 23-Aug-16 15:52:49

What would you have me do crayfish? I know they are prostitutes, whether they are coerced or forced I have no idea. I know he uses them, I know it doesn't bother me what I don't know is why.

adora1 Tue 23-Aug-16 15:53:20

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

wildsummerflowers Tue 23-Aug-16 15:54:35

they come to our home, he doesn't go to them. Look, I really want to speak about this, and it wasn't easy. Please don't attack me sad

BabyGanoush Tue 23-Aug-16 15:56:16

What womb says

Sex is not a "seperate" issue

wildsummerflowers Tue 23-Aug-16 15:56:44


I opened up about this on another forum but couldn't explain fully because I am "known" on there so I came somewhere anonymous but since you've decided I'm a troll, I will go, as one person says troll and everyone else follows and I'm probably better just carrying on with my life as it is than defend myself here.

adora1 Tue 23-Aug-16 15:57:02

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BertrandRussell Tue 23-Aug-16 15:57:33

It doesn't bother you because your self esteem is at rock bottom and, I am prepared to bet, you are depressed. Could you talk to your GP about counseling?

Lottapianos Tue 23-Aug-16 15:58:03

Why do you think you're ok with this OP? Are you relieved that while he is paying women to service him sexually he's leaving you alone? Can you say more about how you feel about his behaviour?

I fully share the disgust expressed by the other posters regarding men who pay to use women's bodies for sex by the way

ImperialBlether Tue 23-Aug-16 15:58:25

Have you been sexually abused by this man or by others, OP?

Baeb Tue 23-Aug-16 15:58:40

If this is for real and you're sincerely worried about it, you need to talk to a counsellor, not Mumsnet, for goodness sake! No one can diagnose you over the Internet. There are a million things which make us who we are and it's silly to open yourself up like this.

crayfish Tue 23-Aug-16 16:02:04

They come to your house? Course they do...

glitterwhip Tue 23-Aug-16 16:02:29

Sorry op but if you're perfectly ok with it why on earth do you need to speak about it?

wildsummerflowers Tue 23-Aug-16 16:03:10

I don't want anyone to "diagnose" me, what would they be diagnosing me with?

Yes I have been sexually abused although I'm OK with it. I've never felt myself interested particularly in sex.

I don't know if I feel relief. I just feel nothing. I feel like I should feel something but I just feel absolutely zilch.

pasic Tue 23-Aug-16 16:03:39

How are we supposed to know why it doesn't bother you?

wildsummerflowers Tue 23-Aug-16 16:04:18

Crayfish yes they do come to the house. Where would he be going? I'm lost here. I think he goes online. Oh god I don't know actually! Maybe he's saying they are escorts and they aren't. I don't know.

glitterwhip Tue 23-Aug-16 16:04:38

This is all kinds of grim

wildsummerflowers Tue 23-Aug-16 16:05:00

I just needed to speak to someone, Im sorry.

IslandLife Tue 23-Aug-16 16:05:24

If your husband uses escorts and it doesn't bother you, what on earth are you posting for? You don't need advice. If you're ok with it, who cares why. The majority of people would care and you obviously know that!!

PurpleDaisies Tue 23-Aug-16 16:06:07

Maybe he's saying they are escorts and they aren't. I don't know.

Does that make a difference? Your husband is being unfaithful.

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