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Why do I feel Sad when I knew how it would turn out?

(4 Posts)
Kungfupandaworksout16 Mon 22-Aug-16 20:44:06

I've always had a broken relationship with my dad. As in wasn't there when I grew up and still not really around as me being grown. It's like he feels guilty every couple of years drops a text seeing how I am then silence for a few more years. He has a history of letting me down.
I've been planning a christening for my baby, and spoke to my mum about whether I should extend an olive branch and invite my dad. My mum told me if that's what I want to do, to go for it but don't get my heart set on him turning up.
The christening is this Sunday, I invited my dad roughly 3 months ago and had heard nothing back. I went too visit my mum today and she asked had my dad confirmed or not and I told her no. She gave him a quick call asking will he be coming and he simply answered back "no" and put the phone down.
I put on a brave face at my mums, brushed it off as " oh I'm use too it"
But now I'm back at home I'm randomly bursting into tears, I thibk it's hit me how cold he just answered no.
I don't get why after so many years of being let down, this has got too me so much. I feel like a big emotional wreck. Really don't know what i expect you all to say , it just feels amazing to get this off my chest

Sassypants82 Mon 22-Aug-16 20:47:18

I'm so sorry. I expect that it's hurt so much because you're hurting in behalf of your baby too. He doesn't deserve you & it's his loss. I hope you have a fabulous day surrounded by those who love & respect you & deserve your attention.

pocketsaviour Mon 22-Aug-16 21:15:19

it's hurt so much because you're hurting in behalf of your baby too.

What sassy said. When your parents have shit on you for your whole life, it's hard to get enraged on your own behalf, because you think you deserve to be tret like that.

When you see them act like that towards a little innocent blameless baby, it can be a major headfuck. "Wait - maybe I wasn't the horrible devil child they said I was? Could it really not be my fault?"

You do not have a father. Start telling yourself that and come to terms with it, otherwise you are committing not just yourself but your child to a lifetime of disappointment.

Kungfupandaworksout16 Mon 22-Aug-16 21:52:16

I think it hurts the most I have gave him more chances than he deserved, when I had my child I told him and invited him to the hospital he said no. I think maybe a little bit of me was hoping because he screwed up so badly at being a dad that maybe he'd grab the chance at being a grandad with both hands but obviously not. sad
Don't know what come over me! Thankyou for your lovely words

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