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Depressed and no escape

(11 Posts)
blondezombie Sun 21-Aug-16 20:54:51

I will try keep this short.
I'm not happy in my relationship. I need help.
I do everything in the house and I mean everything I do shopping too I do it all and my partner just lazes in bed all day. We have a 1 yr old and he's constant attention I try and clean and he's pulling on my legs and screaming and all my partner does is shout down things like sort him out. What you done to him.

He won't help me. He makes me mad with his pathetic excuses. I ask him to put the clean washing away and he says "I don't know where it goes" or "what's the point leave it on the floor it's less hassle" "I never did it at home (with parents) so why should I do it now" he's 33 by the way.

I'm so fed up of doing everything I'm exhausted. I wish I could put on my clothes n makeup etc but I don't have the time and all he says is "you'll just blend in with others the same" or "other women manage".
I'm fed up of this. He says what I do is the woman's job too. He makes more mess and leaves it behind. Then moans and jokes about going to prostitutes because I'm not in the mood for sex. The bed is disgusting covered in fag ash and dirt and dog hairs that I sleep on the sofa.

Anytime I get any money he wants to blow it on smoking weed and crack!!
I've tried asking him to leave that this isn't working he just says that I should leave. I can't as this is my house.
We do have good times and he says he will change but reading this as I'm writing seems really bad.. But I guess this is what my life has become.

pinkyredrose Sun 21-Aug-16 21:06:56

If it's your house then chuck him out.

Tibby2016 Sun 21-Aug-16 21:11:18


ImperialBlether Sun 21-Aug-16 21:14:03

Oh come on, OP - he's a crackhead! Get rid of him. You can't let someone treat you like this!

keepingonrunning Sun 21-Aug-16 21:29:04

What a nightmare for you. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by LTB. You and your DC are worth so much more than this dreadful, disrespectful treatment.
As a drug user he is a threat to the safety of you and your DC. He might change or he might never change, you don't want to waste your life waiting to find out. Please do these 5 things first thing tomorrow morning when you are not at home (to cover your tracks) - you can use the internet at the library:
1. phone Women's Aid 0808 2000 247 available free 24 hours - explain the abusive situation you are enduring
2. seek a free half hour appointment with a solicitor to get legal advice on evicting him from your property ASAP
3. make an appointment with the Citizens' Advice Bureau to review your situation - they are fantastic, highly trained, knowledgeable volunteers. Find your local branch at
4. look at this government website where you can apply for legal aid and get free legal advice if you qualify.
5. phone the non-urgent police line 101 for advice on getting him to leave or 999 if you feel threatened or intimidated. You do not have to put up with his behaviour but you have to be strong to do what you need to do to get him out. Then you will be free to find a relationship that is kind and loving. You can do it.

keepingonrunning Sun 21-Aug-16 21:34:35

I'm quite shocked by the first 3 terse replies.

pinkyredrose Sun 21-Aug-16 21:38:12

What would you rather us say keeping?

GodImbored Sun 21-Aug-16 21:40:48

Oh yes it does seem really bad.

You need some advice on how to get him out.

RainbowDash92 Sun 21-Aug-16 21:57:22

I can't believe what I'm reading. You have a one year old and you let your precious child live with someone who does drugs ?! Crack - an A class drug. Get the hell out of there and make something of your life. Don't depend on a low life like him. Children are so precious and you expose your son to a looser like this ? Even if it's your house just kick him out. If he won't leave go back to the council, explain the situation and get them to re-home you.

RainbowDash92 Sun 21-Aug-16 21:59:47

Bit of personal experience - my SIL has been with her partner 10 years with two kids and he blows his money on weed. He's always been the same. Some people don't change.

pallasathena Mon 22-Aug-16 08:46:12

I'm sorry, but you have a one year old and you're living with a crack head? Where's your self respect? Where's your sense of responsibility? Get the tosspot out of your home and away from your baby before even more damage is done.
Your 'partner', is one of life's losers. I sincerely hope that you are not.

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