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How can I put a bit of distance between me and my Mum, discreetly?

(3 Posts)
NoCapes Sun 21-Aug-16 19:55:55

Me and my Mum are very close, literally in conversation through text constantly, see each other most days and do most things together, so if she asks me what I'm doing that day and I say I'm going shopping, she just comes with me there's no conversation it's just kind of presumed

Thing is she gets way over involved and really crosses the line sometimes, she did this last week and we haven't spoken properly for a few days (I always pull her up on it when she goes too far)
But it's just made me see that I need to back off from her

But she does absolutely loads for me, loads for my kids who absolutely adore her and I don't want things to be awkward or bad in any way, just...less
She takes everything very very personally, always plays the victim and thinks the world is against her at all times, so I couldn't really even say anything without her getting the hump and going to the absolute extreme and refusing to speak to me atall

Is this possible do you think? And how?

Poshsausage Sun 21-Aug-16 20:27:27

Why not write her a little thank you card saying how much you appreciate everything she does for you and the children and some flowers and then just carefully wean apart or say and air it saying I don't want to take advantage of you anymore and you're worrying about it and she must be tired maybe ? But how wonderful she has been to get you on your feet and help
Play down things you do without her like meeting friends but start to increase the frequency and if you're feeling awkward then say it in a nice way mum don't want you to feel sick and such just be honest and tactful

TheBouquets Sun 21-Aug-16 21:22:58

Do you think DM could be feeling a bit lonely? If she goes out at a moment's notice she does not seem to have a job and therefore she will not have colleagues. If she goes out every day with you she does not seem to have her own friends or a sister. Maybe she sees grandchildren as her occupation now. One day you might be in need of her devotion to you and the DCs.

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