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Sexual problems

(8 Posts)
whygodwhy Sat 20-Aug-16 22:15:14

I'd really appreciate some advice.

My DH and I have been together for a few years and have 2 fantastic children between us. It's safe to say he's my best friend and soulmate, it's the happiest relationship I've ever had

Only problem is our sex life, I'd happily have sex everyday, whereas he's really happy with once every month or so, our sex drives are wildly different

When I try to raise this he gets very defensive and immediately shuts down ... He feels he's being pressured (he suffers with ED from time to time) I feel desperate and as if I'm forever begging for sex.

I really don't know how to handle this as aside from this one element of our relationship our lives together are wonderful (hasten to add that when we do have sex it's amazing)


Joysmum Sat 20-Aug-16 22:37:07

Ask him how you should play it. Explain you don't want him to feel pressured and what your approach should be so you don't come across as a sex pest.

DH and I have both been in this position when we have had a higher sex drive than the other at times and have both feared being a sex pest so I really feel for you. The only way we've dealt with it is by talking it through.

whygodwhy Sat 20-Aug-16 22:42:29

Thanks Joysmum, my frustration stems from talking it through so many times and agreeing to leave the ball in his court and then .... Nothing ... Weeks go by and I get more frustrated with his lack on action ... It all feels a bit "groundhog"

Perhaps I just need to accept it ... It just makes me feel sad deep down

thelmafitzgerald Sat 20-Aug-16 22:55:28

I am in a similar situation, just with reversed roles. I feel bad about it, but just because I feel DH is frustrated by my lack of sexual drive. I love him and I am attracted to him, just not in a sexual way.

I don't have answers to offer, but I think this is an issue that appears in many relationships/ marriages so you are definitely not alone flowers

whygodwhy Sat 20-Aug-16 22:59:53

Thanks Thelmaf .... Please could I ask do you still fancy him, my DH says he does but just doesn't have the urges to act on it very often ....

thelmafitzgerald Sat 20-Aug-16 23:04:13

It is exactly the same for me. I fancy my DH very much, I find him attractive and I love touching/ snuggling him.

I would say our relationship is happy and we love each other very much. We are both quite young and fit, if that is any relevant.

It is just that I don't feel much of a sexual urge/ attraction towards him, nor I feel much of a sexual urge in general.

whygodwhy Sat 20-Aug-16 23:14:44

That's my DH to a tee .... He's a wonderful man ...

whygodwhy Sun 21-Aug-16 07:02:22

Oops rest of post didn't send .....

It's just so hard having so little sexual attention really makes you doubt yourself

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