Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Dressing up what trouble it is

(9 Posts)
Melmelmel687 Sat 20-Aug-16 17:27:24

Ok, first post after practical advice. Been with husband for two years the sex at the start was amazing we would do loads of things now last four months its pretty much one position. Ok so i suggested dressing up in an outfit of his choice he responded ' ive never done this before so i dont know' he keeps saying he wants to do it and we will buy an outfit just have no money. We have had money and he has ignored this outfit i have mentioned it again and we have argued anywho i can just tell he isnt interested but it hurts me. I looked online for one he saw the picture couldnt take his eyes off it but clearly doesnt want me to dress up. I just feel like something fun, exciting and hot has turned into me feeling down. What shall i do? Why cant he be honest?

ApocalypseSlough Sat 20-Aug-16 17:33:55

What can he say though which wouldn't upset you? If he'd gone yeah! let's do it and ordered it immediately you could well have felt that what was, wasn't good enough. If he'd gone yeuch, you're kidding ditto. He's gently saying it doesn't appeal and you're pushing it.

loveyoutothemoon Sat 20-Aug-16 17:34:10

You argued over it?!

He doesn't want to do it and you're pressuring him.

Most men are happy with nice underwear!

Melmelmel687 Sat 20-Aug-16 17:38:40

He doesnt even like underwear on me. Never suggests anything new or exciting. I wont be again either. Thanks for advice

honeybunny14 Sat 20-Aug-16 17:44:31

I don't dress up as a certain person or costume it doesn't appeal to me or do what I do have alot of is really sexy underwear basques stocking body stockings ect mabey try that I don't think he's in to the outfit thing op

honeybunny14 Sat 20-Aug-16 17:44:56

Or dp*

twocultures Sat 20-Aug-16 17:48:39

Sorry if TMO but for me and DP outfits were a good idea when the sex life was already good and it would be a spontaneous thing. I wouldn't ask him if he wanted me to dress up etc I'd surprise him by e.g. Getting changed in the bathroom/another room when he's already in bed and then just walking in already made up... (Btw I've not done this many times so just sharing what i know/think) it was always a nice surprise for him and definitely spiced things up.
Maybe you could start by just taking small steps and maybe wearing/doing your hair a certain way etc etc something you know he's into (e.g. He might like fishnet tights or when you wear red lipstick) .

Men can be a bit funny sometimes and don't like feeling like they're being pressured into something, or sometimes it could be a case of them thinking you might act funny if they asked you to wear/buy a certain outfit ?

And also you don't have to buy an expensive outfit I remember when me and DP first started going out (years ago) I randomly picked up a French maid type nightie short thing (whatever it was) for about £7 from Primark and it's still one of the best buys.

Also if you've mentioned your sex life is a bit boring atm maybe you could try to just do things differently at first? E.g. If he's the one always instigating it maybe you should try and take control for a change? And vice versa.

Melmelmel687 Sat 20-Aug-16 17:54:48

I just feel like hes into nothing when it comes to me, ill just have to put up with the way things are. Is this normal hes never suggested underwear? Different things? Seems everyones OH would love it mine just wouldnt.

twocultures Sat 20-Aug-16 18:19:43

Different people like different things.
I used to have a (male)friend who's biggest turn on was soft skin that was taken care of (NOT in a creepy way) but I remember his gf (who was also my friend) once told me all she ever did when she wanted to spice things up was exfoliate in the shower and buy one of those essential oils or mists from the bodyshop. And she'd just switch the scents up every now and then....
As strange as it sounds it may just be a case of maybe thinking back to what used to be a turn on in the first 2 years when you said the sex was really good?

Just remember that sometimes it's just a phase me and DP went through a phase of not having much activity in the bedroom dept. for about 2-3 months at one point for not much of a reason at all . I always thought it would be after I had DS but that didn't affect it at all it happened almost a year later.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now