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Relationships

partner and I are going to break up. what do I need to do while I am still in our home? Re collecting paper work etc.

3 replies

fadetoblack · 19/08/2016 21:08

We have a DD aged 2, and having argued and been miserable pretty much for 3 years, (We were on the verge of breaking up when I found out I was pregnant) I now wish so strongly that I had, but hindsight is a wonderful thing. Our home is rented but we do have a joint bank account. Most bills are in his name. He has made it clear that he is not interested in mediation to work out an agreement but wants to do it through lawyers. He will make the process as difficult as possible. So wise MNetters what can I do now to help make the next stages less shitty?

OP posts:
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pallasathena · 19/08/2016 22:26

Firstly, you need to get birth, marriage certificates and passports together in a bundle plus copies of utility bills and bank statements. Put together a folder of relevant documentation and keep it in a safe place together with any school/university/job related certificates and qualifications.
Secondly, make an appointment with a solicitor, first half hour should be free and start the ball rolling towards either a divorce or, if in a partnership, working out who has what. You need to work out access arrangements for your child and this needs careful thought and proper arrangements sorted out.
Finally, you need to work out whether you want to stay where you are or move to different accommodation. If there is a property, do you want to sell it and split the proceeds or stay there until your child is eighteen?
There's a lot to work out o/p and if possible, you need to discuss it all with your ex. Often, it isn't possible to do that of course. If that's the way it is, then get your solicitor to help sort it all out for you. Your child has to be the priority in all of this and you want the best possible outcome for your child as does your solicitor.

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RealityCheque · 19/08/2016 23:37

Does noone bother reading an OP anymore?

It clearly states 'partner' so no divorce and clearly states home is rented.

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TodaysAGoodDay · 19/08/2016 23:47

If you get a chance, get anything precious to you (i.e. Mum's jewelry, children's drawings, very special gifts) and box them up. If you get lots of time, then try and get a storage unit, even a small one can hold a lot, and keep some of what you can or need.
I know this next bit seems is a little dishonest maybe, but use your joint account card to pay for £5 worth of shopping, and get £ cash back, and hide it somewhere. This is what I did for 6 months, and managed to get £800 by the end. Every penny counts.
Very, very good luck OP.

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