Over the last 20 years I've put on weight. I'm very overweight. I had my last babies in 2013, had awful post natal depression and have just recently come off the anti depressants.
I have an appointment tomorrow to join the local gym and feel more awake than I have in 4 years. Up until recently I've wanted to sleep all the time.
I have a little work from home job and pretty much support myself financially (as in clothes, going out without DP etc) and pay my own bills (mobile, share of house bills etc). DP pays a car loan for my car.
I am sick to death of the way he speaks to me. My 11 yo comes and says don't worry, everyone has arguments etc because he hates the thought that we will break up.
I am called fat, lazy, saggy etc anytime we have a disagreement.
I've had counselling to support me through this relationship and the verbal attacks but today and the last week I'm just sick of it. It seems like it's ramped up.
Surely there are worse things in the world than being fat?
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When I lose weight I will treat myself to getting rid of the 14 stone lump that drags me down
Goandplay · 17/08/2016 19:10
Hes a cunt. Dont wait till you lose weight to get rid of him. You deserve respect NOW You deserve to be rid of this prick now. 
Get rid if the 14 stone now and give your weight loss a bump start 
Seriously is there any relationship to work on or is it dead in the water?
My DH went out for the evening with a couple of his old friends last week, when he called and told me that one of them (having split up with her husband of 20 years last year) has lost about 4 stone and looks amazing! This has happened to several people we know over the last few years, including a male friend last year who finally left his controlling slightly bonkers wife. Honestly seems like the way forward for weight loss, I even joked I might give it a go actually one of those maybe I'm not joking moments, but that's another issue!.
So my advice would be get rid of him first and the weight will fall off! Good luck 
I wouldn't wait...put yourself first and get rid of him.
Then you can work on making yourself feel happy without him dragging you down x
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Goandplay. I wish Id ended my marriage when I was only 14 stone. Instead I waited for all sorts of reasons and by the time I separated from my husband I was 20 stone and 55 years old. That was 3 and half years ago and over the last 6 months Ive been at the gym 5 times a week. I was honest enough too admit to myself that if I didn't have a personal trainer waiting for me I'd probably never have gone, and far from feeling like a failure admitting that I feel the exact opposite. So I have my personal trainer one day, then the next day I go and do recovery cardio and my PT checks I do it via the app the gym uses. He quite literally knows my every move 
But that said Ive also started going and doing a few bits and pieces on my own and Im really pleased with myself 
I can now say I love exercising but too many years of low spirit means it would still be very easy for me to say - ach I'll go tomorrow.
Ive also been following an eating plan for people with pre diabetes. Its very sound and the aim is for people like myself to reverse their condition and come off the medication. Its sound and backed by the UK Diabetic Association.
If I had to chose between the gym and something like Slimming World? Id chose the gym because changing your diet alone will not help you lose weight and keep it off. Not only that you can always work an eating plan out for yourself. I wouldn't mind linking you to the online version of the plan Im using.
Is the weight falling off me? No its not, and truth be told when you're used to relying on the scales to measure progress it can be very demoralising but the reality is that the scales are only one way to measure you're success.
How do I measure mine? Well Im down a dress size, I look much healthier. Im more toned. I move better. Im motivated to have something done in the Beauty Salon every week. Im smaller in size and dont jiggle so much because I now have muscle. My son in law is a Dr and he told me - even if you don't see a result on the scales just keep in mind that every day you're doing this you're benefitting from it medically.
And what do I like about it the most right now? Well that would be seeing my name up on the effort boards when Im working out. My name is actually up their on the effort board along with people I look at and think - they are hard core exercisers. So I may be 58 and still overweight but when Im at the gym Im a bloody advert
I really wish you the best of everything.
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