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He stormed out

(21 Posts)
snapyap Wed 17-Aug-16 14:37:41

Today dh wanted to go out but the baby wanted a sleep. He said baby would sleep in the car, I knew he wouldn't as he doesn't anymore. He got annoyed with me for wanting to let the baby nap at home and to go out later. He threw his shoes at the floor. I said I'm taking the baby upstairs to bed. He called me a fucking cunt and said, I'm going out alone then. And off he went. And came back and acted like nothing happened. why does he always act like nothing has happened after an argument?

SandyY2K Wed 17-Aug-16 14:41:28

Is this the first time he's sworn at you like that? Because I would find it unacceptable and especially when you've done nothing wrong.

snapyap Wed 17-Aug-16 14:42:19

He's said things like that in anger before.

TheNaze73 Wed 17-Aug-16 14:46:26

It's never right to swear like that, I'd find it totally disrespectful & wouldn't stand for it. In answer to your question, everyone deals with arguments in different ways. Why don't you ask him at an appropriate time why he does it & tell him that you're not putting up with his inappropriate behaviour

snapyap Wed 17-Aug-16 14:59:19

He's creating problems where there are none. He keeps saying things have happened/he's said something but I know he hasn't or it hasn't

hellsbellsmelons Wed 17-Aug-16 15:00:54

I've been of the school - your baby should work around you and not you around your baby but you know your baby the best and what works.
Calling you a c*nt is totally unacceptable.
So when he comes back and acts like nothing has happened, what do you do?
Because I'd being apeshit at him if it was me.
If you let him get away with awful name calling and angry behaviour he will continue to do it.
I've a feeling this is just the tip of the iceberg!?

whimsical1975 Wed 17-Aug-16 15:19:01

That is a disgusting way to speak to someone!!!! Who the hell does he think he is?? I don't care how angry he was, or how frustrated he felt, there is no excuse for that. How did he ever get to a point where he felt it was acceptable to speak to you like that... I would not put up with this, not in this lifetime or any other.

Joysmum Wed 17-Aug-16 15:51:56

I too have always got on with things and my baby had to fit around me.

He shouldn't have called you a cunt but he's a parent too and I would not be impressed if my DH dictated and dismissed my wishes to parent as I saw fit. I'd have called him a cunt if he did.

If he's ignoring what happened it could be because he's trying not to make waves and knowing you'd be unbending in your beliefs and further ignore his wishes as a father.

AttilaTheMeerkat Wed 17-Aug-16 15:58:26

He is indeed creating problems where there are none. But you are blamed all the same by him.

Am I correct in thinking that this person puts his mother above you in the pecking order?.

He is not a nice man snapyap; what do you get out of this relationship now?. Why are you and he together?

Do you want your children to grow up thinking that yes this is how people treat each other in relationships?.

Joysmum Wed 17-Aug-16 16:15:45

Just to qualify my previous comments...they are based on you being with somebody worthy of you. If he is not, obviously disregard as they aren't relevant.

SandyY2K Wed 17-Aug-16 16:37:21

I wouldn't tolerate being called that awful name no matter how angry he is. Mature adults don't deal with problems like this and what was wrong with him going alone.

It won't stop unless you are firm with him and make speaking to you like that a dealbreaker.

I'd be demanding an apology and an explanation and it would come with a promise of divorce or the end of the relationship if it ever happened again.

He'll either stop because he knows you won't put up with it or he'll carry on because that's who he is.

You decide what you can live with.

snapyap Wed 17-Aug-16 17:00:03

Nowhere did I dismiss his wishes as a father- he wanted to go out and get his phone fixed. We were going to go until ds got really upset as he was tired. He gets so upset that he's sick if he has to get into the car when he's tired so he needed to sleep in the house. He's a complex wee thing. the phone fixing was not urgent and he didn't need to react like that. It was easy to wait an hour for DS to get back up

snapyap Wed 17-Aug-16 17:16:53

I've tried to talk to him and he says because he thought I was having a go at him, he was justified to call me a cunt

blindsider Wed 17-Aug-16 17:21:01

I've tried to talk to him and he says because he thought I was having a go at him, he was justified to call me a cunt

Well you have landed quite the charmer hmm

snapyap Wed 17-Aug-16 18:44:47

Also told he thinks I have psychological problems and he thinks I neglect our ds. Our DS is the least neglected child

StartledByHisFurryShorts Wed 17-Aug-16 18:54:22

Did he say you neglect your ds because he knows it's the most hurtful thing he can say to you?

RunRabbitRunRabbit Wed 17-Aug-16 18:55:50

1. He is the cunt. Not you.

2. Why does it take two adults and a baby to get a phone fixed? Round my house that takes one adult.

3. He keeps saying things have happened/he's said something but I know he hasn't or it hasn't This is called gaslighting. Google it, I expect you'll find it interesting.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Wed 17-Aug-16 18:58:02

Look up emotional abuse and projection too.

I bet he thinks I have psychological problems and he thinks I neglect our ds is projection. He has psychological problems and he neglects your DS. He clearly has psychological problems if He keeps saying things have happened/he's said something but I know he hasn't or it hasn't Is he neglectful too?

BitOutOfPractice Wed 17-Aug-16 18:58:23

If someone spoke to me like that op it would be the last time they spoke to me

snapyap Wed 17-Aug-16 19:00:15

Bit normally I'd agree. he stormed out and I would've left but he took the car with the car seat in, and my keys were hidden anyway :-S

NerrSnerr Wed 17-Aug-16 19:03:56

Your keys were hidden away? Did he hide them?

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