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XH "should" be on life insurance policy - anyone heard the like?

(7 Posts)
EdithBlighty Wed 17-Aug-16 13:25:36

My X is a pain in the arse, was pretty controlling during our marriage, I'm almost at a point where I can tell him to get lost and think no more about the drivel he spouts but sometimes I stil get confused.

This morning's tirade of abuse stemmed from a long standing disagreement we have about an old life insurance policy of mine. He has insisted on continuing to pay it and deducting the money (£30 a month) from my maintenance.

We had a row about the child support he pays (too little) and I told him for the millionth time to cancel the policy as I had my own now.

Today he demands to know how much he will get from this policy if I die. I told him he doesn't and our daughter will.

Hence the abuse and ranting about how if I die he will not be able to take time off work to be with our daughter if he doesn't get a pay out.

He flounced off. Then calls to apologise and persuade me in a friendly and convincing and reasonable way why he should be a beneficiary. How if I die, our daughter will not only have a dead parent, but the other parent will also be at work all the time. And how is that in the best interests of our daughter?

Am I right in thinking he's barking or does he actually have a bit of a point?

MatildaTheCat Wed 17-Aug-16 13:27:34

Insist on paying it yourself. How can he stop you if the policy is in your name?

TheNaze73 Wed 17-Aug-16 13:33:02

I wouldn't say he was barking but, his reaction totally was. I'm still on the mortgage with my ex, so have kept a joint life policy as security for my girls, so the remaining party can pay off the mortgage & ensure childcare for now & uni fees in the future are covered.

mandi73 Wed 17-Aug-16 13:37:36

Leave it with your daughter as beneficiary, if you die when she's young (hopefully you won't) it can go in trust to help her with college etc Otherwise she gets something when she's older.
If you should die and her father has to rasie her and she still in school etc he'll have to do what all single parents do.......WORK IT OUT

GiddyOnZackHunt Wed 17-Aug-16 13:39:22

Tell him you'll set up a will leaving the money in trust (may not be correct term) and the trustees (not him) will be able to provide money to benefit dd. That might mean he could work less if it would be in her interests. Or it might not.

Lonecatwithkitten Wed 17-Aug-16 13:43:50

I have life insurance for myself that pays of my mortgage and gives a lump sum that goes into trust for DD with trustees I trust.
I also have life insurance that I pay on XH that has a deed of trust and goes to DD with me as the trustee. This existed prior to our split and when split a deed of trust was advised so that DD remained the beneficiary.
Your X may find that even though he is paying he may no longer be a beneficiary unless you as the insured life have completed a deed of trust to this affect.

tornandhurt Wed 17-Aug-16 15:22:13

He's being a selfish twat. Organise a flexible deed of trust from the insurance provider. Specify your daughter as the beneficiary, and appoint a minimum of two additional trustees. Make sure the trustees are people you trust to do the right thing in the event the worst happens. i.e. a sibling or other close family member. If you need any help p.m me, this it my job. x

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