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My best friend has turned everyone against me..

(31 Posts)
Feelingsandtears Tue 16-Aug-16 21:56:16

I'm 30 as is she.
We have always had a weird friendship where I am always there for her but she rarely is for me.
Despite all that we had good times and spoke on the phone daily.
The last year it was always me texting her first and if I didn't she wouldn't bother but this is where it gets childish ..if I didn't text her she would say "why haven't you bothered texting me" "what's wrong with you" blah blah.
She always expected me to chase after her.
I got sick of this and didn't speak to her for about 5 weeks then randomly her mum blocked me on Facebook (always got on great with her mum,popped to shops for her etc) so I sent my friend a message and she replied ask her ..then says oh must of been my nephew (8 months old).

Then I said look this is ridiculous,i shouldn't be the one having to chase you to talk.
Her mum unblocked me.
We spoke again for 5 days then I didn't contact her so she hasn't contacted me,I just think I'm too old for this childish shit.
It's been 2 months.
Her mum then reblocked me on Facebook.
I deactivated my account and opened a new one(without her or her mum added) I had that for a few days and just out of curiosity searched for them and they had blocked me on my new Facebook (I hadn't sent a request or anything they obviously just blocked me)
Then her aunty deletes and blocks me and our mutual guy friend (who lives a few doors from me,deleted and blocked me then deleted me off Twitter and blocked my number)
I don't understand.
Basically if I don't make some communication to her she plays the victim and makes me out to be awful and god knows what else she's saying to her mum/aunty/friend etc
Does anyone understand this?
I've done nothing wrong.

Feelingsandtears Tue 16-Aug-16 21:56:34

Friends for 14 years

PikachuSayBoo Tue 16-Aug-16 21:59:36

I would say you're too old to put up with this shit. She is not a good friend.

Can you ask the mutual guy friend who is the most likely to be the least close to her what has been said?

I would keep my distance from her big time.

Feelingsandtears Tue 16-Aug-16 22:01:28

The guy friend is so far up her Arse.
Always at her house,her mum cooks him tea and he goes shopping for her mum(basically a slave) he is a soft touch.
They day before he spoke to me in the street.
I honestly think they've told him to do it.
I just don't understand

OurBlanche Tue 16-Aug-16 22:02:17

Sod her family, but why don't you go and talk to the bloke who lives a few doors down?

Ask him what has happened? Tell him he doesn't have to be your bessie mate, but an explanation of why you seem to be being sent to Coventry would be nice.

If he declines to talk, sod him too. Go make new friends.

And if any of them unblock and try to play nice, tell them to fuck off decline, but do so Publicly, explain clearly that you prefer to have adult as friends. Then put down the fb thing and go talk to people!

Feelingsandtears Tue 16-Aug-16 22:04:10

I knocked on his door and he didn't answer.
I was angry so I think it was for the best.
He only lived there a few weeks and stupidly when he moved in I gave him a kettle/toaster/microwave/curtains/a rug /bathroom cabinet.
You are kind to people and that's how they repay you.

GloriaGaynor Tue 16-Aug-16 22:04:11

She's not your friend.

Life's too short for this shit, surely?

Feelingsandtears Tue 16-Aug-16 22:04:43

I know I've been kind to her whole family.
I don't get it.

RowenaDahl Tue 16-Aug-16 22:20:33

It sounds like hard work. Let her go. The relationship has run its course. I wouldn't bother trying to work out why this is happening. It's a waste of energy.

Tippytoes13 Tue 16-Aug-16 22:22:04

I would send her a message and be honest. She doesn't sound like a very nice friend and blocking people on Facebook, is just petty. I wouldn't want anyone in my life like this, I would just stop any contact and move on. I had a friend, who I knew since my son was a baby, he's now 10, she became very strange, it was since the beginning of my third pregnancy, as I was so sick in the early months, I couldn't keep up our weekly meetings that we used to have, she then just stopped contact, I messaged her numerous times, but never got a reply, it turned out she got a new phone and didn't send me her new number, so I had to ask for her number again. Then when my daughter was born, she didn't message me, send me a card, nothing, even though I bought her daughter a gift and card when she was born (that part doesn't bother me though). I just stopped contacting her in the end, we don't really talk anymore, she recently had her 40th birthday party and didn't bother inviting me. 10 years of friendship, it makes you wonder about some people, but I don't need people like that in my life.

Feelingsandtears Tue 16-Aug-16 22:25:21

We've already discussed it the last time she did this and said yes this is stupid but we are back to square one.
Why should I be the one chasing her to speak?
Then how dare she play a victim ..why should it be me contacting her .

MrsJorahMormont Tue 16-Aug-16 22:30:17

Look, you can waste your one precious life analysing why she's doing this or that or whether it's fair...

Or you can just breathe a sigh of relief, shrug, think 'her loss!' and move on to find some real friends. And maybe consider thinking a bit about why you've spent so long trying to be friends with someone so unkind and self-centred.

Feelingsandtears Tue 16-Aug-16 22:33:37

My other 2 really good friends hate her.
Tell me it's a blessing in disguise etc.
My "friend" has no other friends apart from me..maybe it's becoming clear why.

CodyKing Tue 16-Aug-16 22:35:55

She's behaving like she's important and people should fall at her feet and go out of their way to prove they like her/be her friend - she equates your effort to being a friend

She's not - move on - ignore you've wasted enough time and energy in her

Feelingsandtears Tue 16-Aug-16 22:38:58

Cody- think you have totally summed it up tbh
I'm shocked at her aunty blocking me and her mum but God knows what she's told them

CodyKing Tue 16-Aug-16 22:53:14

She may well have said very little - in that as you aren't friends then they shouldn't be either - afraid she may strop?

These people do not possess their own minds

Feelingsandtears Wed 17-Aug-16 08:10:08

I know what she's like she twists everything.
She caused a argument with her boyfriend and hit him then told her brother he hit her and caused a massive rift.
Think she's capable of saying anything

Maidofrohan Wed 17-Aug-16 08:14:21

She sounds toxic and I reckon you're well rid. Don't dwell on it and maybe think of it as a lucky escape. You don't need someone like that in your life, she's not worth it. And sod the others who have stopped talking to you on her say so!!!

Ginslinger Wed 17-Aug-16 08:15:53

she is not your friend - block her and move on.

ClassicCoast Wed 17-Aug-16 08:22:13

Your bigger question is why you have engaged in this shit relationship with a manipulative shit friend? You can't make difficult people kind by being nice to them- your friends are right enjoy them and sod her. Invest in people who deserve it and be glad your tolerance reached its end.

Feelingsandtears Wed 17-Aug-16 08:25:30

I think it was because we did have fun times.
I just think she's one of those people who don't like to see anybody else happy.
Like you've all said sod her,she will realise she's lost a good friend.
I know she won't leave it like that tho ..she will want some sort of revenge on me(I know it sounds mad but that's what she's like)

CodyKing Wed 17-Aug-16 09:19:19

You don't engage with these people - she carves drama - don't give it - don't say anything or respond - she'll get bored because you won't play her game - these people aren't your friends either

Fuzzywuzzywasabear Wed 17-Aug-16 09:26:46

One of my now ex friends regularly falls out with people then gets everyone else to delete and block them, she fell out with her sister because she refused to delete an old school friend because they had fallen out hmm sounds like this woman is the same.

Honestly sounds like you're better off without the lot of them!

Feelingsandtears Wed 17-Aug-16 10:09:32

It's so childish isn't it.
I'm sure 14 year olds are more mature.
I just can't be arsed with it anymore.

EarthboundMisfit Wed 17-Aug-16 10:13:09

Just sod the whole thing off. She's 30, but she's acting like she's 6. You're honestly far better off out of it. If anyone asks, tell them you've no quarrel with her and just leave it at that.

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