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Facebook issues

(30 Posts)
Numbkinnuts Tue 16-Aug-16 20:06:53

My DH and I both have FB accounts. Had mine for years , DH not so long. It's a bit of a standing joke that he refuses to have me as a friend on FB which I don't really mind. However what I do object to is he is always getting onto one of my devices or asking for my FB log in.

I have nothing to hid but it's a bit like your DH sitting next to you on a girls night out listening to your conversations. I am friends with people on FB that I have known for 30 yrs well before we met and we talk about things which don't concern him. Also it will show my messenger conversations.

I am just getting a little bit pissed off about this intrusion into my privacy when I don't ask about his.

He has no reason to think I am unfaithful - I am not BTW. How do I deal with this ?

WamBamThankYouMaam Tue 16-Aug-16 20:16:07

Say no.

Vvlgari Tue 16-Aug-16 20:20:03

Yep, just refuse.

LewisAndClark Tue 16-Aug-16 20:20:07

God that's awful.

I spend my LIFE on FB. Dh is on there but not very interested. We're obviously FB friends because, well, that's NORMAL.

But there's no way he'd ever read my conversations. That's hideous behaviour.

LewisAndClark Tue 16-Aug-16 20:20:27

Change your password and log out every time.

Numbkinnuts Tue 16-Aug-16 20:23:24

Constantly changing my password.

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia Tue 16-Aug-16 20:24:51

what happens if you refuse his request?

Scarydinosaurs Tue 16-Aug-16 20:26:51

Don't you ever ask him why he wants it?

TellMeSomethingNew Tue 16-Aug-16 20:28:21

Asking to have a quick look once if you're going through some bad insecurity - sure. Going behind your back and looking or asking to see constantly - WTF

Buzzardbird Tue 16-Aug-16 20:28:40

Why do you allow it?

veryproudvolleyballmum Tue 16-Aug-16 20:28:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cabrinha Tue 16-Aug-16 20:30:15

Why do you allow him to?

guineapig1 Tue 16-Aug-16 20:32:44

Yep, just refuse. If he gets shirty ask him to reciprocate and for his login and see how he likes that. Him not being willing to have you as a friend is odd imo and would make me a bit uncomfortable.

HuskyLover1 Tue 16-Aug-16 20:36:16

WTF, why won't he be friends with you on FB? Surely you should be linked up as "in a relationship". The fact that he doesn't want to show that he is in a relationship with you, plus suspects you of dodgy dealings on FB, seems a bit projecting to me. In other words, what is HE up to on FB?

Forgettheworld Tue 16-Aug-16 21:35:30

My brother won't follow me on Twitter I thought that was strange! Call me paranoid but I'd be worried what he was looking at talking about if he won't be Facebook friends with you. If he asks again say yes as long as you look at his

Jaynebxl Tue 16-Aug-16 21:39:16

He won't be your friend on fb? That alone would ring warning bells. What is he hiding? And why does he want to pry into your fb? Dh and I are friends and always tagging each other in pics and posts. I know all his passwords and he knows mine. If I wanted to I could log in and check his fb but I don't need to as I can see his fb anyway, what with being friends. I wouldn't care if he logged in to mine... he'd die of boredom though.

Numbkinnuts Tue 16-Aug-16 21:54:44

I ve not refused but will do. Thanks all.

He is likely to get shirty but I'll have to deal with that .

AnyFucker Tue 16-Aug-16 22:00:16

Why don't you get shirty ?

Is he the boss of you ?

OurBlanche Tue 16-Aug-16 22:05:33

Have you asked him why he feels the need to log in as you and check your social media?

Say no and when he does get shirty ask him why?

Have you asked for his and gone and logged on as him? Why not?

bloodyteenagers Tue 16-Aug-16 22:10:17

I'd tell him no. He's not my dad.
Tough shit he gets shirty, he would be told to grow the fuck up and stop acting like a petulant child.

Funko Tue 16-Aug-16 22:13:03

I hate to say this but (bitter experience)
Called 'the mirror' or 'projecting'

Paranoid about what you're doing... Not because of what you're actually doing but more because of what HE is doing that he doesn't want you to know about

Accusations of messaging other people (he's doing it)
Suspicious behaviour on Facebook (he's doing it that's why he doesn't want to be FB friends)
You're having an affair (he's is or was or thinking about it)

Keep an eye on it!!

AnyFucker Tue 16-Aug-16 22:14:46

Agree with funko

He is dodgy as fuck

Scarydinosaurs Tue 16-Aug-16 22:24:44

Sorry to repeat- but if you asked him why, what would he say??

Surely that is the most normal response to being asked your log in? Why on earth would he need it?

acatcalledjohn Tue 16-Aug-16 22:38:14

Just ask him for his login to see what his response is like. If all defensive/aggressive then run for the hills and consider it a lucky escape.

Cabrinha Wed 17-Aug-16 07:28:14

Why has it taken a bunch of strangers on the internet telling you that you can say no, for you to decide to do that? When it's the obvious normal answer.

That suggests a totally fucked up dynamic in your relationship and makes me wonder what other shit you're going along with.

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