I have never posted on this part of MN, indeed rarely start threads. I'm a long-time MNer but have name changed for this in case identifying details emerge.I have no wish to drip feed.
For a long time, DD's response to my criticisms about habits/behaviour, e.g. not locking doors when leaving the house, leaving heating on when house is empty, leaving shit stains in the lavatory, has been to say I am angry ( annoyed from my point of view) or shouting (never) and that I scare her. It all becomes about my manner and never about what she's actually done/not done. It's me being stressed. Every time.This has been the case since her early teens. When I point this out, this is me being scary again.
I should say that as a teacher, I am accustomed to me being the problem, me being the scary one, and yes, I do have a stone face when being manipulated, one I acquired in the years of being brought up by a DM with mental health issues.
DD is 21, lives at home as a student, and in the current economic climate, unlikely to move out, nor would I wish it as a solution.
For background, she works for her pocket money but is otherwise supported by me.
DH died a few weeks ago, but this is not related to the attitude, which long precedes his death.
I felt so exhausted by the last bout: they are not frequent, but intense.
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Relationships
Difficulties with young adult DD
15 replies
nervouslaughter · 16/08/2016 13:02
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