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I still miss him,how do I forget?

(39 Posts)
Whatdowedo Sun 14-Aug-16 14:35:43

It's been a year,a whole year I've sat and cried and just been unhappy.
I had liked him for years never dreamed anything between us would ever happen.
Then he told me he had wanted me for years etc.
He had 2 kids who were young and it didn't work because they obviously we're his priority (as it should be) and his ex was crazy.
Anyway I can't move on from him because I know he still has feelings for me too.
We haven't spoken in a year ..he said he couldn't just be my friend.
I just keep thinking back to our first kiss and the time we spent together how good it was.
How comfortable we were together.
Remembering him telling me he loved me etc.
Every night I'm lying in bed thinking of when he used to be cuddling me,and kissing me etc.
I'm going crazy
How do I get over him when I'm still in love with him?

LesisMiserable Sun 14-Aug-16 14:57:37

Why did you split?

Ineversaid16 Sun 14-Aug-16 15:02:05

I think you should console yourself with the fact that he never loved you or he would have made it work however hard. You will find someone who does flowers.

Whatdowedo Sun 14-Aug-16 15:09:24

He works Monday to Friday 12 hour night shift then sat and Sunday he wanted to be with his kids (3 and 1) his ex didn't want me around the kids and she wanted him back.
When me and him were together he feel guilty as she would text telling him your a bad dad etc... It was too much.
I love him tho and wish we could make it work

LesisMiserable Sun 14-Aug-16 15:18:28

Regardless of his ex (you only know 50% or less of the story of those two) this doesn't sound like he would have been able to offer you much of a partnership in any real capacity long term. What you miss is the physical side of your relationship clearly which is totally understandable. You can and will form that bond with another person but you have to let go of what might have been first.

Whatdowedo Sun 14-Aug-16 15:29:05

I really hope so.
Im 30 and only ever been in love twice.
It takes a lot for me to feel comfortable with men.
A year has passed I should be OK by now shouldn't I?
I wish we could of remained friends,I miss him being out of my life all the way together.
I've dated this year but not had that spark(cheesy I know) but I can't just settle or fake it.
I wish in a way he hadn't of said everything he had,might of been easier to stomach.

Ineversaid16 Sun 14-Aug-16 15:37:29

I think the lesson learnt is don't believe a word a man says to you unless he actually shows it in action. A hard lesson that took me a long time to learn.

Whatdowedo Sun 14-Aug-16 15:58:01

So do you think he never really loved me?

Buzzardbird Sun 14-Aug-16 16:02:31

If he had, he would have made it work. If his kids are young you can forget getting him to yourself for years. You are young, you need to go out and meet someone else. I read one of those annoying memes earlier but it is relevant to you...
The past is a great place to visit, not to live in.

Whatdowedo Sun 14-Aug-16 16:18:12

I should of known really.
At the time his youngest was only 4 months at the time.

TheNaze73 Sun 14-Aug-16 16:23:29

I don't want to sour your memories but, if he really wanted it, he'd have fought for you. You sound lovely & I hope the future shine for you flowers

SoleBizzz Sun 14-Aug-16 16:25:14

He never loved you. No. If he did he'd be with you.

SoleBizzz Sun 14-Aug-16 16:34:26

He didn't want you enough to stay. You wasn't worth the effort. Sorry. Doesn't mean your experiences with him and time together was wasted x

Buzzardbird Sun 14-Aug-16 16:46:55

4 months old?! No wonder his ex was 'crazy'! Don't think I'd be overly impressed either!

Did you not see that coming?

Whatdowedo Sun 14-Aug-16 16:52:28

No I didn't see it coming.
They weren't a couple when I met him.
They had been apart before youngest was born.
You can't help who you fall for.

Buzzardbird Sun 14-Aug-16 17:30:25

Actually, you can but that's another matter.

Red flags should have been all over this one. You have had a lucky escape.
Get yourself dating and stop mooning over this one that wasn't as keen as you were.

Wishing you better luck in the future. flowers

Whatdowedo Sun 14-Aug-16 17:54:28

That's what's what was confusing he was keen.
He chased me,he was the one who said I love u first etc

AyeAmarok Sun 14-Aug-16 17:59:42

He may have said that, but it's just words. His actions didn't match up.

Buzzardbird Sun 14-Aug-16 17:59:55

A lot of people are 'keen' until they get what they are after, maybe he thought it would work and then realized it wouldn't?

I really think you can do better for yourself OP, you are only young and 'sound' a lot younger than 30. There are still men around that you can build your own family with, who will come first and won't have to put you on the back-boiler when their premier family needs them.

Don't fall for the old chestnut of 'you can't help who you fall for', you really can.

Whatdowedo Sun 14-Aug-16 18:04:22

What actions was he meant to do tho?
He was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

NickiFury Sun 14-Aug-16 18:08:56

No he wasn't stuck at all. There was only one choice - his kids. And he shouldn't have been looking for relationships with a four month old to care for. In the nicest way possible you need to get a grip, there was never any possibility of this working.

BarbaraRoberts Sun 14-Aug-16 18:10:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Buzzardbird Sun 14-Aug-16 19:13:39

Did she kick him out then?

RomeoIsBleeding Sun 14-Aug-16 19:14:04

He was using the "crazy ex" (who was probably anything but) as an excuse.
He was using the children as an excuse.

And yes, you can help who you fall for, and who you waste your life pining for. Come on, this isn't a 19th century novel where the lovelorn protagonist takes to her bed for the winter and expires of a broken heart.

This is real life where you can make a choice not to sit pining after him night after night and get out and actually live your life.

In the nicest possible way, stop being so pathetic flowers

Missgraeme Sun 14-Aug-16 19:18:19

If he was a man he would have sorted his ex and fought for u.
He was a mouse.
Who wants a mouse?

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