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Scared to make the leap

(3 Posts)
user1471100439 Sat 13-Aug-16 17:27:55

I wish I could cut a long story short but it’s pretty impossible, so please bear with me.

Ex-husband told me about his affair with a colleague when I announced my second pregnancy. He suggested an abortion and I kindly showed him the door. His contact with our now 3 year old and 5 month old have been minimal – to the point that he has yet to see the baby (his choice).
Not long after we split up I met a woman (she works for my sister). I was feeling low but after one evening out with her (amid a group of friends) she absolutely boosted my confidence. She flirted outrageously, was kind and charming and made a very casual non-threatening pass at me. She showed me that being 30, divorced and a single parent didn’t mean my life was over and believe me I needed that.

She made it completely clear that she would like a relationship with me and is willing to wait until I’m ready. There has been no pressure on her part.
Fast forward 13 months and she’s become a fixture in our lives, and is such a great support and basically has undertaken the role of second parent. My children adore her, as do my parents and sister.
I know if she were to leave I would be devastated – far more so than when my marriage ended.

Added bonus - she’s also several years younger than me and frankly so damn hot she’d turn the straightest of women ;-)
Am I in love with her? Yes absolutely.

So why am I so reticent to begin a relationship with her? My children have already lost one parental figure in their lives, is it fair to them to risk it happening again? My ex basically said he began his affair because he was too young to be tied down with children and at the back of my mind I am so very scared that the same will happen with this woman.

Flatbellyfella Sat 13-Aug-16 20:46:44

She obviously finds you hot too, the fact that she persued you, & made it clear she wanted a relationship with you. Go for it, enjoy the love you both feel for each other. If you push her away you will have lost the chance to have a great future together. Best wishes to both of you.

pocketsaviour Sat 13-Aug-16 21:16:19

My ex basically said he began his affair because he was too young to be tied down with children and at the back of my mind I am so very scared that the same will happen with this woman.

Fuck your ex, he's a cheating twat. TBH it sounds like you're already in a relationship with her, you just haven't done the scary thing of hanging the relationship label on it. Do it. What's the worst that could happen?

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