I was married to my kids dad very young. The usual, treated me like a princess until we married and changed literally over night. I don't want to go into detail what happened but it went on a long time, didn't tell anyone. I had my 2 DC whom I adored and it was having them that gave me the courage to make him leave. They were 1 and 3. It was a horrific time. Finally got divorced, didn't really tell anyone what had happened during the marriage. Ds1 has ASD and I was asked so many times if he had been around DA and I said no I was too scared to say yes. He had contact EOW for couple years, again was such an awful time. He kept harassing me and being verbally abusive and again I was too scared to say anything. Anyway it turned out (I found out through his ex) he had hurt my kids and was aggressive and abuaive to them. Naturally I went absolutely beserk and refused all contact. His family were aggressive to me saying I was making all this up. But I didn't care.
I got married last year and it has already ended. We shouldn't have got married, I felt coerced into it like if I said no, no one else would want me. I feel guilty for putting my kids through yet another failed marriage. What sort of an example am I?! They are fine about this marriage ending as they weren't close, he didn't make an effort with them.
I'm feeling really low. Last night I had a horrific dream ex was doing really bad things to me. It was so so horrible. I know it's just a dream but so real. I can't get over what has happened to me my adult life. I was on anti depressants all the time I was married to him but I didn't tell the GP what was wrong, he just said I was depressed. I wasn't. I was given cbt but in theory I think it's great but can't apply it to myself. More anti depressants. I'm not close to my family but opened up to my dad about it. I don't qualify for any help for counselling on nhs so trying to find private one but it's so expensive. Sorry this is so long but I would love to hear from anyone who's been through similar and how you got through it? It's still affecting me now, I'm clearly still not over it. I worry about him turning up sometimes.
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Has anyone been through DA in the past but come through it?
Anothernamechanger1 · 13/08/2016 07:44
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