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2 weeks of dating, he dropped the 'L bomb'

(57 Posts)
backonthebikeagain Fri 12-Aug-16 19:47:21

How do I let him down gently and end it?? We havent even dtd yet!! He is lovely but has never been in a long term relationship. This has just freaked me out and really put me off. We've seen each other 3 times in the last 2 weeks.

I have said a few times can we just see what happens.

PanGalaticGargleBlaster Fri 12-Aug-16 19:50:23

Sorry, but after only three dates you are under no obligation to explain yourself if you want to run for the hills. A simple 'nice to have met you but I don't want to take things further' text is suffice.

ImperialBlether Fri 12-Aug-16 19:52:05

I think "love him and leave him" is the most appropriate response here!

backonthebikeagain Fri 12-Aug-16 19:57:06

Ha ha! The trouble is though, hes a friend of a close friend. It is going to make things awkward.

Can I do by text??!!!

backonthebikeagain Fri 12-Aug-16 19:58:07


MoosLikeJagger Fri 12-Aug-16 19:58:11

You could just challenge him on it: "you can't be serious. You don't know me yet."

But I would, like you I think, take it as a sign of either immaturity or insincerity.

Just be straight with him - it's not going to work out, best to tell him now not string him along, let him meet someone better suited. It is a rejection and he will know it, aim for respectful (and brief) rather than pitying. Good luck.

MoosLikeJagger Fri 12-Aug-16 20:00:12

I'm all in favour of dumping by text - maximum dignity retention for dumped party, imho. You need to make sure your messages are unambiguous.

ImperialBlether Fri 12-Aug-16 20:00:28

I don't know. If he's lovely he might have just said in as you might say you really like someone. I wouldn't call it a red flag if he's just inexperienced.

MoosLikeJagger Fri 12-Aug-16 20:04:34

But DH says its mean and cowardly. And if you're going to have to see him again, probably best to be all bright and cheery over coffee "yeah, I don't see it working out, tbh, never mind.... How is your futon upcycling going?" <glassy grin>

I don't think a declaration of love after three days has to be taken that seriously.

backonthebikeagain Fri 12-Aug-16 20:05:21

He has said it quite a few times. Apparently he loves me to bits. I just cant go forward with this. I'm going to word it very carefully...

ButIbeingpoor Fri 12-Aug-16 20:18:34

Um, 'love' may mean 'like' to him and he just is clumsy regarding his vocabulary?
I like peppermint but I really love chocolate kind of thing?
If you like him, tell him you are uncomfortable with him using that word at this stage of your relationship. If you don't like him, leave him.

ColintheCrow Fri 12-Aug-16 20:22:33

I'd run screaming and send a text. I'm single and looking but that would be far too much, far too quickly.

magicstar1 Fri 12-Aug-16 20:24:36

That happened to me and I freaked out. Told him to cop on, that he didn't even know me yet.

We're married 8 years this year blush

ShelaghTurner Fri 12-Aug-16 20:28:55

Same. Married 16 years...wink

nicolasixx Fri 12-Aug-16 20:30:29

And again... It's just infatuation talking

backonthebikeagain Fri 12-Aug-16 20:32:31

For those of you who this actually worked out for - Did you like them a lot when they told you??

bakeoffcake Fri 12-Aug-16 20:40:41

Same, married 28 years, although it was a whole six dares not three grin

OP you're reaction is to run, so please do!

bakeoffcake Fri 12-Aug-16 20:42:24

Yes, OP. I liked him very much!

backonthebikeagain Fri 12-Aug-16 20:51:22

Im glad it worked out for all of you smile Im just not that into him, this has seriously scared me off. If it was meant to be I wouldnt feel like this. I'll tell him tomorrow...

SandyY2K Fri 12-Aug-16 23:39:51

If you're not into him at all, just call and end it. Say you aren't feeling the kind of relationship connection that you want and you don't want to waste his time.

i8sum314 Sat 13-Aug-16 00:03:10

oh be careful. in love with being in love.

BubblingUp Sat 13-Aug-16 02:51:09

Had a man mention marriage to me on our 1st day - as in "when you and I are married..." - I emailed him the next day telling him I saw no future for us. I figured the man just wanted to be married and he didn't really care who the woman was. He knew nothing about me, although he did say he I was "presentable".
So, saying the L word so quickly would make me run far and run fast.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds Sat 13-Aug-16 03:04:56

Yes I would totally trust your instincts and if your gut is telling you to run, RUN!

chocoLit Sat 13-Aug-16 03:10:11

Oh god this happened with friends of ours. I introduced a colleague of DH to a friend of mine. Their jobs had some overlap so they'd met but didn't know each other.

I thought they'd be a good match and we're exceptionally sociable so arranged for a few events they'd both be at.

They went on a few dates and he was horrendous. Far too much far too soon completely putting my friend right off.

Bloody DH failed to mention when said friend had a drink he got overly emotional/clingy/needy.

He was turning up at her house and leaving presents. Sending drunk messages (after she politely told him that they should just be friends) how much he liked her etc The messages then started coming to me about how much he admired DH & I and hoped we'd all do something again soon. We had him round, on his own, and he got so drunk and emotional he ended up lying on the sitting room floor weeping and cuddling the dog.

He's a grown man in an extremely responsible position/job with two teenage DC ffs hmm

We've now had to cut all contact with him, thankfully a transfer at work means DH sees less of him as does my friend. We think he's just lonely bless him but regardless of how we try to help we get it wrong sad

Walk away OP, in fact if your instincts scream it, run away....

notarehearsal Sat 13-Aug-16 06:43:12

I announced that I loved a man when I was 16 and hadn't even dtd. He was my boss and I was drunk and we weren't in a relationship. The day I met him I knew I loved him and told my friends I wanted him to be my husband! After some years of on /off we married and were together for twenty years...

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