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man child. to stay or go?

(15 Posts)
mommymurphy Thu 11-Aug-16 23:42:50

My second marriage. After my first divorce I met sh, and he was a breath of fresh air. Fun and great company. We had a ball. Dc went to exh every other weekend and we had great weekends. Lots of socialising, drink, and fantastic sex
He wanted to get married and have a baby. I didn't. But he wore me down. So we did
We now have a nearly 2 yo ds. I work full time, as does dh. I earn lots more money than him but we still never have any money. I pay all the mortgage bills and childcare. He pays for wine and take ways. No more socialising as we have a baby and the fun has gone. V little sex ( which I miss lots)
My oldest dc is 18 and my dh is 41 but they behave the same. I have come home again today from work to a tip of a house and no dinner, despite the fact everyone else is off and have been resting all day, whilst I have done a 10 hr day
I want to commit murder
Dh is blaming dc
Again he has no money left but can't account for his wages
He thinks I'm a nag for wanting more (sex) and a life
I want to leave but can't face being a sp to 4
AIBU??

pallasathena Fri 12-Aug-16 08:47:49

Stop being a pushover, put in place some boundaries and get your self respect back!
And stop being sooo passive, understanding, etc. etc. You need to kick ass o/p. They're only behaving like this because they can...

Pearlman Fri 12-Aug-16 10:47:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pinkyredrose Fri 12-Aug-16 10:50:29

Why the fuck is the contributing in any way? He sounds a total dickhead. Stay if you want this to be your life forever. You don't have to put up with this disrespect.

pinkyredrose Fri 12-Aug-16 10:51:17

Isn't he contributing- I meant to say.

Helloooomeee Fri 12-Aug-16 10:54:10

Erm, sounds like you are already a sp to 5! Life will be easier and your stress levels lower if you kick out the one who should be your equal and focus on the 4 who actually require your attention.

Obviously we know nothing about your relationship other than what you've stated here but if your relationship is going to work there needs to be some pretty big changes, pooled finances might be a start. Also, at 18 eldest dc should be contributing to the household in terms of cooking, cleaning etc...

Bananalanacake Fri 12-Aug-16 10:56:00

How often do you have takeaways? He should be paying his way I agree,

adora1 Fri 12-Aug-16 16:26:18

What the hell, he doesn't contribute apart from wine and takeaway - what is actual point of him other than being a cocklodger and horrible bastard, no idea why you tolerate this, your son is merely copying what he has been witnessing, too late for him, not too late for you though to get out and have a bloody life, this sounds like torture, why are you doing it?

twittwooery Fri 12-Aug-16 16:35:52

Ok takeaways and wine aren't great to say that's all he buys, but presumably it's for the family and OP also, and they are willingly taking it? And I don't think anyone should be nagged for sex. But I do agree with PP about being somewhat passive generally

AnyFucker Fri 12-Aug-16 16:41:22

It would have been better to have kept him as a FWB like some expensive exotic pet with a cock

He hasn't stepped up as a partner and father, that is for sure. So, what now ?

RunRabbitRunRabbit Fri 12-Aug-16 20:21:05

Shift the bills to his account tomorrow. Why not?

Bagina Sat 13-Aug-16 09:10:43

like some expensive exotic pet with a cock grin fantastic image.

emilybrontescorset Sat 13-Aug-16 09:24:13

Af- I'm howling great description.

Op I think you'd be better off without the man child.

Cabrinha Sat 13-Aug-16 10:08:56

See a solicitor.
Divorce him sooner rather than latter - the longer you are married the larger the claim he will have on your assets.

Fairenuff Sat 13-Aug-16 10:16:57

Well you went into this one with your eyes wide open didn't you OP. It's not like he pretended to be one thing and turned out to be another.

Why on earth did you marry him if you don't like him? confused

Anyway, yes it's either put up or ship out I'm afraid.

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