Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Disturbing Facebook posts from old friend overseas

(3 Posts)
bzz7 Thu 11-Aug-16 13:37:12

My parents worked in southern New Zealand for a few years when I was a teen. One of my old friends (I haven't seen her for many years) ended a relationship and has been posting some disturbing things on Facebook over the past couple of weeks. I'm not sure what to do.

She has been posting (and deleting some of the posts) that her ex is stalking her--leaving nasty phone messages. He has apparently arrived at her work a couple of times and gotten violent (it's hard to tell to what degree). She suffers sometimes from serious depression and is now. She said a few days ago that she'd like to "end things" and can't get out of bed. She has young children.

This has happened before. A few years ago, she divorced and posted similar things. But this time, things do seem more serious.

The ex is a member of the police, otherwise I'd call and ask the police to do a welfare check. The police have a bit of a reputation there for sticking by their own and for not being able to deal with family violence. I did call the mental health department at the local hospital and they say they can't call her unless I'm really convinced she is suicidal. They were very dismissive and just didn't seem to want to know (southern New Zealand has that kind of reputation for dealing with family violence, which is common there). Then I tried calling the local women's refuge and they recorded some facts, but couldn't say (for confidentiality reasons) if they could get in touch with her. It didn't seem likely that they could.

Her parents are rather off. I'm not sure if they could help or if she even wants them involved. She never posts about them although she is very open about her life on Facebook. Her other Facebook friends just seem to be digging for gossip which some of them are then passing around in mean private messages. It's not an area where people are forgiving of mental health issues. Also, because she did blow up Facebook in the past when she got divorced with very emotional stuff, I think people don't take it seriously.

I just don't know how seriously I should be taking this or if I should be getting any more involved when I really don't know her that well anymore. If anyone has any experience of this kind of thing, I would appreciate any advice.

loveyoutothemoon Thu 11-Aug-16 16:31:48

Maybe instigate a conversation with her on Facebook. Get her to open up. She may not have anyone to do this with. A problem shared is a problem halved and all that.

bzz7 Thu 11-Aug-16 17:58:57

That's not a bad idea, thanks.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now