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Making Friends - having social anxiety

(3 Posts)
likeaprayer Thu 11-Aug-16 11:47:09

How do you make friends if in your 40's, single and suffered with social anxiety all my life?

For most off my life I have avoided people, just seen close family members and hidden away from the world.

But for the last 2 years I have finally started to tackle the issue, have made huge improvements but still feel isolated and lonely. I just don't know what to say to people, my mind goes blank. I would say I have made acquaintances but not friends.

I do worry I come across as rude, stuck up but am trying my best. I do keep my anxiety hidden but should I say to people I have social anxiety and finding it hard? Or would you run a mile and avoid me, knowing I am not going to be easy to talk too? Should I be more open about my anxiety? Or keep quiet?

I've joined many groups, running, walking, started doing volunteer work but apart from hello, how are you? That's about as far as my conversations go.

I've done the hard bit off leaving the house, but now the next steps seems even harder and getting frustrated and find myself slipping back into my old life and avoiding things, back into my comfort zone.

Any advice on how to talk to people, make friends? When you find it so hard to do.

spudlike1 Thu 11-Aug-16 17:38:01

I find it hard as well , but I just try and talk about random everyday stuff , to get the conversation going and try and let the other person do most of the talking by asking a few questions and showing lots of interest and empathy , then relax

Helpmeltb Thu 11-Aug-16 18:47:39

I too am crap at making conversation cos of anxiety. But I have realised that pretty much everyone else is similar - just that some people get past it by talking lots or talking loudly. It's all just different ways of managing to hide thae worry that we might not be liked.

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