Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Does love at first sight exist?

(59 Posts)
PrizeyPrize Wed 10-Aug-16 15:38:32

Ok love at first date then.
I need to come back down to earth, because I can't quite believe how into this guy I am. Everything about him makes me melt. Geez woman get a grip.
Ok so met online, been texting for 2 months (I've been busy with work and holidays), finally met a few days ago and we just connected so much. Not just that but, I've never physically fancied anyone more than him, ever. So date goes on chatting into the evening, then given the amazing connection we kind of ended back at his blush (I never do this, and apparently neither does he). We had the most amazing night, just mind-blowingly good, so compatible in that respect too, and held each other all night, I feel like I'm in a film or a dream or something. Haven't eaten a thing since, can't get him off my mind. We've been texting constantly since and its fair to say he is into me too. This was not expected at all. Please someone slap me.

wizzywig Wed 10-Aug-16 15:41:47

Me! Me and my husband decided to get married after our first date. Apart from shit awful inlaws we are still happy 15yrs later. If it makes a difference i did grow up with arranged marriages being the norm so making the decision on your life partner very quickly was one that was ok for me (not ok for his family). I was never going to be able to live with him.

Redglitter Wed 10-Aug-16 15:41:59

Yes. My parents met at a wedding. My dad saw my mum and said to one of his friends he was going to marry her. He broke up with his girlfriend the next day and asked my mum out the following day. After their first date he wrote a mock up of their engagement announcement. They were together for just under 50 years until he died He always said it was absolute love at first sight and he knew she was the one. And he was right

HappyJanuary Wed 10-Aug-16 15:43:19

I'm not going to slap you, it sounds wonderful and you're right to enjoy it.

But if I may rain on your parade just a little, there are lots of posts on here from people who felt similarly and were crushed when it didn't go anywhere.

The fact that he's still texting is good, but just exercise some caution, you don't know him yet, not really.

StillDrSethHazlittMD Wed 10-Aug-16 15:44:00

Yes, but it isn't necessarily reciprocal.

ButtMuncher Wed 10-Aug-16 15:44:11

I knew from the first date with DP that he was something seriously special - we had to overcome a very difficult start but I maintain to this day no matter how annoyed we are at each other, we really do embody the idea of kindred souls. From the first moment we talked like best friends with a common ground as if we'd known each other years. It was very natural.

Cluesue Wed 10-Aug-16 15:45:04

Yes

PrizeyPrize Wed 10-Aug-16 15:48:31

Thanks HappyJan I need that, and its what I keep telling myself. This can't possibly work out, things like this don't happen to me, so I just keep telling myself to reign it in.
Butt thats exactly the word 'natural', it felt so natural like we'd known each other before or something (we haven't though)

Ineversaid16 Wed 10-Aug-16 15:49:38

Be wary if you feel they would be good looking to many women not just to you. Men and women who are good looking are used to people having crushes on them so my not see it as anything out of the ordinary. Having said that I hope it goes well for you.

ComtesseDeSpair Wed 10-Aug-16 15:50:43

Sure it happens. And plenty of people will post in a bit to say they and their OH knew each other was The One on the first date, exchanged I Love Yous on the second, got engaged on the third and are still blissfully happy X number of years later.

Equally, it's just as common to meet somebody, talk for hours and hours on the first date, have amazing chemistry and just know you've met Mr Right; only to be ghosted a couple of weeks later. There are any number of threads in this section attesting to that, including numerous experiences on the Dating threads.

Or, after some amazing initial dates, the newbie gloss wears off and you just realise a while down the line that actually you don't really want the same things or have much materially in common and it's never going to be a relationship.

It's good that you had a great time and liked each other. But just take it easy and keep your cool. If you're meant for each other, then nothing's going to change that. Enjoy getting to know each other and keep on having a good time, but don't kid yourself that he can't be hiding the stuff he'd rather you didn't find out and quite yet.

Ineversaid16 Wed 10-Aug-16 15:51:16

*may!

NedStarksHead Wed 10-Aug-16 15:52:36

I first spoke to DP on Twitter, met him a few days after speaking to him blush
Wasn't love at "first sight" but we knew off the bat we were a sure thing. Moved in together after a week, I was pregnant within the month and we're still very happy 4 years later!

As soppy as it sounds, I loved him very quickly and find myself loving him more as the days pass.

PrizeyPrize Wed 10-Aug-16 15:55:44

Ineversaid - not to blow my own trumpet but I'm good looking too!! I've never been into looks as being that important and my ex's were not exactly oil paintings, and people have told me afterwards (and the ex's admitted actually) they were punching above their weight with me, but I didn't care. To experience someone you are attracted to physically as well as mentally is a new concept to me, and one I really rather like!

Ineversaid16 Wed 10-Aug-16 16:03:48

That's ok then smile

TheNaze73 Wed 10-Aug-16 16:17:33

I'm with HappyJanuary and don't mean or want to sound negative but....

Read so many threads on here about how quickly couples were in to each other before, it all went tits up. Be rational, let your head rule your heart and enjoy smile

honeybunny14 Wed 10-Aug-16 16:34:31

Yes a year later we are still the same getting our first house together next month smile

PrizeyPrize Wed 10-Aug-16 16:34:49

Thanks Naze I know, I've been shocked at the stories on the dating threads, from going from unicorns & rainbows to complete ghosting in less than a few dates. So odd, and I'm fully aware of this, I am definitely exercising caution, on the drive home I was just thinking to myself "this can't possibly happen, this is too good to be true", and I keep telling myself this. I'm just going to enjoy it (not get heavy about it) and see where it goes. The thought of him still makes me melt though grin just hope to God that it continues and the guy he is now is his true self, because that one is amazing.

Vagabond Wed 10-Aug-16 16:39:57

What a wonderful feeling Prizey! Enjoy it. My cousin stayed with me and met a lot of lemons on Tinder. Then one day....after 4 attempts....she met the right guy...totally clicked and now they are getting married.

Have faith. Guys want love too. Just don't be needy! By happy and enjoy the romance. Lucky you........smile

PrizeyPrize Wed 10-Aug-16 16:53:39

Thanks Vagabond I do feel very lucky right now grin

Vickyyyy Wed 10-Aug-16 17:24:21

To take the syaing quite literally...

First sight, no I don't believe it does. Lust at first sight, yes. Love is a lot more than just seeing someone.

Vickyyyy Wed 10-Aug-16 17:24:36

syaing = saying

Vickyyyy Wed 10-Aug-16 17:26:07

First date though, I believe it can happen. Everything can just click and you are so wellsuited its obvious very quickly.

Never happened to me though, and those it has happened to are so lucky. Took me a lot of frogs before I found my prince wink

amypie86 Wed 10-Aug-16 18:02:00

This is what happened to me and he buggered off on my birthday after two months and never spoke to me again! I felt exactly like you, we both said how in love we were and all that jazz. It's an amazing feeling when you think you have finally met the one! Unfortunately it wasn't real with me and he was a complete arsehole in reality, but I hope that yours end well and this guy is genuine grin

x2boys Wed 10-Aug-16 20:03:50

It can do i met dh ,had a one night stand really lIked him but thought i would never see him again ,he called we got together married six months later and we celebrate our 11 th wedding anniversery on friday.

AndiiPandii Wed 10-Aug-16 20:42:39

No.

Lust at first sight definitely.

If you are lucky the lust at fist sight can grow into love.

All the rest of it is retrospective romanticisation so that people convince themselves that "they" are special and "their love story" is so romantic. It's after the event rationalisation.

"When I saw her I just knew" from someone married 50 years actually = "when I saw her I had a huge lustful connection that was greater than anything I'd experience before and she felt the same, as luck would have it turns out we were compatible and it grew into lasting love but if I'm honest it just as easily could have been a hot 3 month fling that I would have simply thought of fondly as a fun time."

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now