Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Sick of his behaviour now

(65 Posts)
Sarah1087 Tue 09-Aug-16 20:07:26

Me and my DP have had lots of ups and downs to over come.

Throughout this year his crazy ex has been saying she is sleeping with him still, its taken me a while to over come this. I gave her opportunity to show me proof which she claimed to have. But she never was able to show me this.

He denied everything until he was blue in the face which I expected anyway.
Basically expects me to forget this.

We decided to try for a baby 3 months ago nothing has come of this and I'm starting to praise my blessings it hasn't.

He has a 10year old boy from this lady who I love to peices but he modicodules him. When he's on nights this boy is getting in bed with me due to him being scared or feeling sick etc. Told DP I'm not comfortable with this, he's at that age where puberty is starting! The weather has been so hot I'm sleeping in a nightie he said he agreed. Yet every night his son is coming in and getting in bed with us.
Am I in wrong in thinking this is too old ? He should be able to comfort himself back to sleep at that age ? I've expressed how I feel to get nothing back.

Top things off this week. I've had an operation on my leg, I basically cannot walk for a week due to it being so sore. He's been working which is fine. But today after work he's had a fiddle job on. ( I know it was a fiddle job nothing suspicious )
But he decided to take this on himself today. Even though he knows I cannot make myself something to eat or drink. My mum has had to pop round. Then he asked if I wanted to go shopping to get out of the house.. Well s*it hit the fan I was fuming I cannot bleeding walk.. His excuse were he thought id want to get out of the house and I could've sit in the car... Omg!!!!
He ended up coming back in at 4pm from 5am this morning.

We were also on holiday last week with his son, and we put two on everything yet I spent around £75 on his son ( got no thanks for it ) and he didn't once buy me anything to eat. I just think this his awful behaviour from someone who says he loves me after everything I've had to deal with.

I've told him tonight I am not going to be his glorified babysitter anymore.

I really need to rant!!! Lol sorry.
Surely any woman taking all this in deserves to be put first especially being ill by the guy who claims to be in love with her ??

NorksAreMessy Tue 09-Aug-16 20:37:39

Ok, main thing that jumps out is 'crazy ex'
This is NEARLY always a red flag, invented for face saving purposes.

Keep talking, and keep taking the pill !

Sarah1087 Tue 09-Aug-16 21:35:15

I know my friend said exactly the same " crazy ex - means red flag "
Thank you

FreeFromHarm Tue 09-Aug-16 22:09:23

red bunting x

Ramonaramona73 Tue 09-Aug-16 22:16:01

Does anyone have any experience of living apart whilst married with a toddler in a bid to give a struggling marriage room to breathe before officially separating? If so how did you manage weekends, finances, parenting. Do you think it is disturbing to a small child or preferable to rushing into divorce?

Ramonaramona73 Tue 09-Aug-16 22:17:13

Oh so sorry I meant to start s new thread. Sorry Sarah please ignore. I agree about the crazy ex thing too.

RubbishMantra Tue 09-Aug-16 22:57:17

Bloody hell, why would you be trying for a new baby, when dp's ex claimed they were still having sex? Book an appointment at the STD clinic to get yourselves screened.

Bit weird (IMO) for a 10 yr old to want to co-sleep with his father and (relatively new? - What if you'd been nekked?) partner, who won't treat you to a bite to eat on hols, but is happy for you to spend money on his son?

I'd be very careful with contraception with this man. Please don't forget that you thanked your blessings that "it hasn't" happened. If it were me, my contraception would be to be to get rid of the free-loading twat.

AnyFucker Tue 09-Aug-16 22:59:45

I believe his ex

Cabrinha Tue 09-Aug-16 23:12:48

Why on earth would you try for a baby in a relationship that is so up and down, and where you haven't worked out how you fit in with son, and you resent the split of finances?

Plus he's a benefit or tax cheat, or both.

Prince among men, that one hmm

That's before you get into his shitty lack of care for you when ill. Warning: flash forward, that's exactly how he'll be with you after the birth of any baby. That'll be fun.

His son is not too old to need comfort from his father.
Something isn't right there though, if he's saying he's frightened and ill.

Another black mark to your boyfriend: what the fuck is he doing trying to bring a new baby into the mix when his son has emotional needs that need to be dealt with first?

When your 10yo is too scared to sleep alone, comforting him is not mollycoddling. But it's a shit time ti throw a newborn into the mix.

He sounds like a bad bet all round, and that's without the ex's claims.

How long have you been with him?
Why is she only now making these claims do you think?

Sarah1087 Tue 09-Aug-16 23:53:20

We've been together 2 years!
He's 10 years older than me I have a good job my own car and my own place which I still pay for whilst living with him.
Before anyone shouts at me I've gone back on the pill. I wouldn't get myself into a situation! I'm hurt of being treat this way x

AnyFucker Tue 09-Aug-16 23:57:04

Bring an end to it then

user1470264502 Wed 10-Aug-16 00:05:34

He sounds selfish and his baggage seems messy . Do you really need to complicate with another child ? 2 years is no time at all you should be taking the time to get to know one another !

DoreenLethal Wed 10-Aug-16 07:02:10

Don't let it get to 3 years, move back into your place and move on.

Cary2012 Wed 10-Aug-16 09:57:38

You have no kids together, you have your own home and sound financially independent. If I was you I'd leave, forget him, and find someone who deserves you. And I think the ex 'crazy' lady might be telling the truth.

Missgraeme Wed 10-Aug-16 10:02:53

Personally I would put some space between u and move back home. U are laying yourself open to accusation from his ex letting his son share your bed! If she isn't getting far saying she is still sleeping with him she could accuse u of something...

newname99 Wed 10-Aug-16 10:12:39

At 2years he is showing his real personality.This is how your life will be.Is it really the best you can get? I suspect the baby plans were to hold you in the relationship.

I appreciate he must have some good points but you are young, financially stable don't sell yourself short.

The little boy needs looking after.

I would not discount the ex's version.It can be difficult to prove you have slept with someone.I'm sure your partner could be smart enough not to send incriminating text messages.

OurBlanche Wed 10-Aug-16 10:45:42

Go home. Save yourself. He sounds like incredibly hard work.

Sarah1087 Wed 10-Aug-16 10:55:30

Thank you guys.
I'm getting some of my things together today and going.
It's my birthday so happy birthday to me lol xx

OurBlanche Wed 10-Aug-16 10:59:33

That's brilliant timing! You may well be giving yourself the best ever birthday present!

Good luck.

Sarah1087 Wed 10-Aug-16 11:15:16

Thank you ourblanche.

I hope so. Finding it hard already but I've not told him. Nor am I either.
He's expecting me to be waiting in tomorrow for his parcel being delivered and his son was staying with us tonight.
But again I just feel he expects me to just do things. Bear in mind I cannot walk cos of my leg! He's the most inconsiderate person I've come across.

My sister in law is helping me with my things. I will keep you posted xx

AnyFucker Wed 10-Aug-16 11:28:49

Happy birthday flowers

Olddear Wed 10-Aug-16 11:30:48

Honestly, you've given yourself the best birthday treat, getting rid of him. Onwards and upwards! Good luck.

Sarah1087 Wed 10-Aug-16 11:53:14

Cheers guys xx

HooseRice Wed 10-Aug-16 11:57:48

Happy birthday.

You're doing absolutely the right thing.

All the best to you flowers

hellsbellsmelons Wed 10-Aug-16 12:08:52

flowers for you.
This could be one of the best birthdays ever.
Away from this twat.
Well done on getting away.
Things will only get worse.
He will of course give you the talk about how he will change.
He will guilt trip you by using his son as leverage.
Don't fall for it.
Ignore, block and delete and leave it at that.
Get out there and get busy with friends and family and enjoy your new found single life.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now