We rely on advertising to keep the lights on.

Please consider adding us to your whitelist.



Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

So when a man tells you he's not after anything serious

(69 Posts)
QueenoftheAndals Tue 09-Aug-16 16:28:03

... but just wants to "see what happens", it basically means he wants no-strings sex, right?

nilbyname Tue 09-Aug-16 16:28:54

Yes, it's a cake and eat it relationship status.

Dobinette Tue 09-Aug-16 16:30:42

Yes, and that he's a knob (but at least he's honest!)

AlMinzerAndHisPyramidOfDogs Tue 09-Aug-16 16:30:56

Correct. He likes you enough to shag you but not to commit to you.

AbsolutelyIDo Tue 09-Aug-16 16:31:31


Nellyphants Tue 09-Aug-16 16:31:44

He wants a shag when he fancies one & you're not to make any demands on him

QueenoftheAndals Tue 09-Aug-16 16:32:58

Tbh I'm not sure I want a serious relationship but I've not had a shag in ages and really really fancy him!!!

Dobinette Tue 09-Aug-16 16:34:02

Aha! Well enjoy wink

TeaMeBasil Tue 09-Aug-16 16:36:22

Then I'd say go on a date, enjoy the shag & then walk away with a smile on your face.

The FWB scenario can be done (& this is really what he has in mind) - but it can also get complicated if you get accidental feelings!

Stevefromstevenage Tue 09-Aug-16 16:36:35

He is being upfront and honest. Take him at his word.

Lndnmummy Tue 09-Aug-16 16:37:07

It is a shitty thing to say I think. It almost assumes that you are one pinning for him but he needs to make it clear tht he doesn't want anything serious. It is a pompous, self absorbed thing to say I think. I have heard it a couple of times and backed off every time I have heard it. Exeption being my now dh but that is another threadwink

QueenoftheAndals Tue 09-Aug-16 16:38:47

We have a good laugh together and he's really fit and I saw him yesterday and just wanted to tear his clothes off. Alas we were in a public place so couldn't do more than kiss blush

MothButterfly Tue 09-Aug-16 16:38:51

What teamebasil said. and if it carries on for a while don't imagine anything has changed and he's fallen for you ...

MrsEmmaPeel Tue 09-Aug-16 16:39:00

Yes, it is just sex and going out for meals, clubbing, cinema etc. without committing yourself.

I did the same thing with men until I met my DP. Having fun and no ties is perfectly acceptable as long as both parties accept those terms from the outset.

VladmirsPoutine Tue 09-Aug-16 16:39:11

Well it does show some degree of honesty - i.e. I want a shag with zero strings attached.
If you can manage that sort of thing then enjoy it, if not cut him loose now before your emotions spill over.

Missgraeme Tue 09-Aug-16 16:40:27

So tell yourself it's u using him for sex and enjoy!! If it comes to an end then oh well u had fun (and sex!) Great way to gain confidence and try out new things!! blush

ElspethFlashman Tue 09-Aug-16 16:40:43

Shag him then...but don't be in a rush to text him the next day!

QueenoftheAndals Tue 09-Aug-16 16:42:18

I split with DC's father a few months ago (before I started seeing this guy) so the last thing I need is another serious entanglement. In fact, DC's dad and I are still on good terms and there's a chance we may get back together in the future. But our sex life was non-existent and I feel I need a palate-cleanser, so to speak!

ConkersDontScareSpiders Tue 09-Aug-16 16:51:34

Do it then...get yours. Where's the harm?

mumofthemonsters808 Tue 09-Aug-16 16:57:35

Having learnt this lesson the very hard way, many, many times it means he wants to give you one, nothing more.You will probably find he does end up in a relationship but just not with you.Unless you want no strings sex, walk away from him.He sounds perfect for you, considering the situation with your ex.

Dobinette Tue 09-Aug-16 16:58:06

But you must act slightly aloof at all times, and for goodness sake don't fall for him!

ImperialBlether Tue 09-Aug-16 16:59:48

I think there are only two possible answers to a man saying this:

1) "Well, I thought I wanted more, but now I can see I don't."


2) "Yeah, me too. I only want a relationship with someone really special. When are you free?"

phoenix1973 Tue 09-Aug-16 17:04:27

It means, let me bone you then be a love and piss off and don't stalk me.

QueenoftheAndals Tue 09-Aug-16 17:38:03

Tbh the only thing that made me a bit hmm was the "lets see what happens" part of it. But I think I've got him sussed out. If I message him too much he seems to draw back but if I go quiet for a few days then suddenly it's on for young and old! (We need an eye roll emoji MNHQ!)

oldlaundbooth Tue 09-Aug-16 17:44:20

Tell him that you are not looking for a serious relationship whatsoever, you are in no way looking for anything serious at all. Just fun.

say this and he'll be putty in your hand if you want him to be

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now