We used to have an amazing relationship, chatted for hours about anything, had a fab laugh, I actually used to look forward to visiting and I always wanted this type of relationship with my own mum (we don't get on well).
However since my son was born I've started to feel quite resentful/irritated with her. Starting to think it may be jealousy. Thing is she takes over loads when we see her. MIL and FIL live a bit of a way away but we still try to see them once a month and tend to stay for a week or two at a time and we recently had a holiday together for a whole week. Still really like her as a person but she takes over too much with my son; she hugs him all the time we are there, plays with him non-stop, she's there every waking second even for his baths, feeding time etc and I start to worry that my son forgets I'm his mum. I had a nightmare at Christmas about this, woke in a sweat because we were there for 2.5 weeks and she took over EVERYTHING. She even cooks him his breakfast, lunch and dinner.
She has a habit of messing up his routine as well. She showers him with so much love which I do not begrudge at all, but sometimes she thnks shes just being loving but she's hindering him. For example, he won't drink milk so I have to get him to eat cheese, yoghurt and cereal with milk. While we were away she kept giving him bits of her dinner so he'd fill up on that and not eat any of his dairy. And at breakfast she kept giving him toast and then he went off cereal for the whole week and refused to eat it. Terrified me no end as he was getting no dairy!!!
Then there's things like she buys him so many gifts for Christmas and birthday, which is lovely but she seems to outdo us or buy things I wanted to get him and that is grating on me a bit. I know it's petty and a first world problem but I can feel the resentment boiling inside. I saw something I wanted to buy him and then she made clear to everyone she was going to get him that as a present because childrne his age LOVE it, and I am now thinking of getting it before she does so I get in there first. And I know I'm being childish.
I do BLW and I felt the whole time she didn't really want me to do it and she cuts the food into tiny pieces when it's unnecessary etc. It's just small petty things but I feel undermined.
I worry they think I'm unloving or a rubbish mum or just controlling/annoying as I feel so pushed out I kinda take a step back and hardly end up spending any time with my own son when I'm there unless it's to step in and say "stop feeding him bread, he needs to eat his breakfast" etc.
Thing is I don't want our relationship to be sour as we used to get on so well. If you're still with me at this point I'd love some advice. And please don't be too hard on me, I know it's a first world problem and I'm being stupid!
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Relationships
Help! Resentful of MIL but we used to get on SO well
PregnantAndEngaged · 08/08/2016 20:36
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