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Boyfriend broke up with me, two weeks no contact! Want him back but don't know what to do!

(151 Posts)

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shenry25 Sun 07-Aug-16 20:26:59

I'm sorry if this is too long, I'll try and keep it short. Me and my boyfriend were going out for 7 months. We got on so so well! We had been friends before we started seeing each other and we had a real connection. Things started to get a bit rocky over the last month or so and to be honest we were only meeting up once or twice a month for sex. We were still in contact and would talk on the phone but we really weren't seeing much of each other. He is scared of relationships but he always said how happy I made him and that he would commit someday but wanted to take it slow. I held on for a while hoping that maybe things would change and it was pretty upsetting. My family hating seeing my cry and so miserable so they messaged him on Facebook telling me to leave me alone. He told me it would be best if he walked away and it was good between us while it lasted. He then blocked me 😞
My cousin was quite rude to him to be honest and my mum told him to block me. He text me on whatsapp saying he treated me really badly and I'll realise that Then it'll be time to talk if I still want to. My mum and him were still messaging on Facebook at this point and he said he was so sorry, he wishes he could make it up to me and if there was anything he could do she was to let him know. My mum told him if he could make me happy then she wouldn't stand in his way. He told her how much he cared about me and that he would have a serious think about it. He said he can't deny how well we get on and it would make my mum smile if she saw it, which is true. He Kept saying how much he cared about me and he wants to make it right.
I told him before we started no contact that I still wanted to friends and he said he would like that too. Also, he would maybe speak to me in a few weeks time. He doesn't want to particularly stop speaking to me for a while but he says it's the right thing to do. He told my mum "as far as she's concerned, we're not speaking at the minute" which I took to mean he hasn't fallen out with me completely.

Do do you think we have a chance at all? I really really want to give us another go!!

neonrainbow Sun 07-Aug-16 20:30:27

Not sure why your family is involved in your relationship. But having sex a couple of times a month is not a relationship anyway. He's not into you.

AnyFucker Sun 07-Aug-16 20:31:26

Get some self respect and move on

You are embarrassing yourself

Fairylea Sun 07-Aug-16 20:31:50

Why would you want to give this another go, even if there was a chance? I'm sure you can do better. You want someone who worships the ground you walk on.

shenry25 Sun 07-Aug-16 20:34:22

My family didn't get the concept that we were trying to take things slow and see what happened. They thought we should be official. I was really annoyed that they got involved. I just want to ask him if we could give it another go and try harder this time.

Pearlman Sun 07-Aug-16 20:34:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Just5minswithDacre Sun 07-Aug-16 20:37:12

Delete him from everything and go cold turkey.

DanniiMinogue Sun 07-Aug-16 20:37:27

Sorry you're unhappy but honestly, why on earth are your Mum/cousin so involved? They sound over invested and whilst they care, it doesn't necessarily help.

It all sounds quite immature/as if you both sound quite young if so much of the communicating is done via other family members on FB.

I wouldn't consider remaining friends - I think you both need a clean break.

If you want to contact him then simply pick up the phone but as stated above, in the circs you've described I don't see you getting back together ie things had clearly deteriorated over the months.

Flisspaps Sun 07-Aug-16 20:40:44

Get your family to butt out, pick up your dignity and move on.

I'm sorry but he doesn't want to be with you.

BikeRunSki Sun 07-Aug-16 20:40:52

Sweetie, he doesn't want to be your boyfriend, you need to accept that.

shenry25 Sun 07-Aug-16 20:42:11

We were officially in a relationship and then he panicked so I said we could take a step back for a while. He told me he loved me and cared about me but he told me that he would maybe talk to me in a few weeks.

shenry25 Sun 07-Aug-16 20:43:28

He said he doesn't particularly want to stop speaking to me either but it's the right thing to do for now. He said it'll be time enough to talk when I realise how bad he treated me.

quicklydecides Sun 07-Aug-16 20:44:39

Are you teenagers?
Then, perhaps, it makes a bit of sense.

shenry25 Sun 07-Aug-16 20:45:33

He always kept telling me that I made him happy and he would commit - he just needed time. He told my mum that relationships do scare him but he can't deny how well we get on and it would make even her smile if she saw it. Which is true. He said he would have a proper serious think about it and get back to me.

shenry25 Sun 07-Aug-16 20:45:45

No I'm 26 and he is 31

AnyFucker Sun 07-Aug-16 20:46:40


Isetan Sun 07-Aug-16 20:46:57

Oh dear, this was a car crash of an entanglement and you really do need to do yourself a favour and walk away. Your family got involved because you involved them and it seems a little churlish to blame them for their misguided involvement. I didn't realise that crying and being miserable were signs of 'taking it slow' and I can quite understand how your nuanced behaviour confused them. The only reason this joker is communicating with you is because of your family, otherwise you'd still be blocked.

Break ups suck but they happen for a reason, ignore those reasons at your peril.

OTheHugeManatee Sun 07-Aug-16 20:47:08

No, your relationship does not still have a chance. Move on, you are wasting your time and emotional energy. HTH

shenry25 Sun 07-Aug-16 20:49:19

I know in their own way, my family meant well but I really didn't want them involved at all! He does still have me blocked but not on whatsapp. I am really really gutted! I'm scared because my family got involved, that's ruined if for good!

AnyFucker Sun 07-Aug-16 20:51:07

You ruined it yourself. You sound deluded.

madgingermunchkin Sun 07-Aug-16 20:51:11

If he really wanted to "take things slowly" then he would have been dating you. As in, taking you out and getting to know you. Not just turning up every now and again when he fancied a fuck

He was feeding you the standard bull, and you fell for it hook, line and sinker.

Block him on everything and work on getting your self respect back.

Pearlman Sun 07-Aug-16 20:53:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ijustwannadance Sun 07-Aug-16 20:54:16

You both sound about 15!
26 and 31!!!!! And your mum got involved?! Move on ffs. He isn't interested enough and most likely wants to keep you on the side as a back up.

TheCrumpettyTree Sun 07-Aug-16 20:55:06

You're 26? You sound about 16.

He doesn't want to be with you, stop involving your family. Don't wait around for him, move on.

Shakey15000 Sun 07-Aug-16 20:55:33

Ye Gads. This wasn't a relationship lovey. More like a soap opera.

Agree, you need to give it up, give yourself a shake, tell your family to bugger off when it comes to your life, grow up a bit and go and discover yourself and the world.

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