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Husband keeps checking my messages

(11 Posts)
ConfuciousSaysWhat Sat 06-Aug-16 14:07:15

I have nothing to hide so there is nothing wrong (perhaps the odd message to a friend discussing how low in mood I am due to his mood and attitude but nothing I've not already discussed with him). Today he's gone onto my Facebook on the computer (I only log in on my phone) and gone through my messages on there, including one i was purposely not reading so it remained unread! I think he realised this as he blurted out some bullshit about going online and my Facebook was logged in but chat "accidentally" came up which meant he'd "accidentally" seen my messages.

When I challenged him with a "but i don't log in on the computer" I was met with bluster and bullshit about him doing a system reset and it going back to when I had last logged in hmm

What the hell is he playing at?

If he's searching for evidence of cheating he'll never find any because I dont cheat and am not cheating. Would his distrust if me mean I need to be distrustful of him?

OnionKnight Sat 06-Aug-16 14:18:27

Yeah that's not right.

It could be a guilty conscience and he's trying to deflect it back to you or something.

Chucklecheeks Sat 06-Aug-16 14:56:11

I can only tell you my story but all my media accounts and phone being hacked my my STBXH were the first signs of his affair.

memyselfandaye Sat 06-Aug-16 15:00:03

Sounds like he's either trying to delete something before you see it, is a nosey bastard, or thinks he has a right to go through your personal messages.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Sat 06-Aug-16 15:01:40

You are low on mood because of his mood and attitude? So this isn't his only bad behavioir?

pointythings Sat 06-Aug-16 15:02:30

I'd be going ballistic. You have a right to privacy. I'd start by passwording your Facebook on the computer so that you have to log in every time - it's a pain, but if he tries again he should get the message loud and clear. And your password should be something like FuckOffYouSnoopingBellend2016.

DoitotmeSheldon Sat 06-Aug-16 15:13:46

This doesn't look good at all. Is it a new thing or has he always been very distrustful?

DIYTopTits Sat 06-Aug-16 15:22:04

My DP and I are both able to get onto each other's phones and computers, etc. We both know the passwords for most of each other's things or have the same password because we are unimaginative. However, neither of us go through the other one's messages without permission because that would be a breach of trust. I have nothing that I wouldn't show him myself but I would still be pretty peeved fucking furious if he did it.

HeddaGarbled Sat 06-Aug-16 15:51:56

At the least all the lying and denying shows that he knows he shouldn't be doing it.

Is he looking to find out whether you're about to leave him, do you think?

Hissy Sat 06-Aug-16 15:59:20

Change the passwords and watch HIM for changes. It's often a sign HES he one cheating

This is the tip of the iceberg right? He doesn't make you happy at all, does he?

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted Sat 06-Aug-16 16:02:19

Once the trust has gone, there's not much left of the relationship, is there?

He's intruding on your privacy either because he's insecure/paranoid or he's not trustworthy himself.

An insecure and mistrustful person won't take lack of evidence as proof of your honesty, he'll just keep intruding until he finds something. Does he cross-examine you about your whereabouts, question you about conversations you have when he's not there?

An untrustworthy person thinks everyone else is as dishonest as him.
"Would his distrust if me mean I need to be distrustful of him?" Yep.

None of this bodes well.

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