Have posted on other boards about this and had some good advice but still floundering - background is im due to get married in just over 4 weeks and I'm having major doubts. Been with FI for 8 years and he's a lovely man - works hard, pulls his weight about the house, is respectful of me...but he also drains me, he relies on me to organise all holidays and weekend plans etc, he's not very sociable - I constantly watch him when we are in social gatherings and jump in if I see him struggling to make conversation etc - I really love him as a person and want the best for him but lately I've just wondered if I can do this forever? Why do I feel the need to protect him and put his needs first? I want to be able to relax when in company and wish he was more outgoing and suggested meeting people and doing things. He doesn't have many friends and I think it's mainly because he doesn't make effort to make conversation and also doesn't make the effort to keep in touch and do things with his friends. He only has one hobby and makes no effort to do other things or explore other potential hobbies. I get upset when I think about leaving and him being on his own.
None of these things make him a bad person - they just make me feel suffocated but I think he's actually ok being the way he is - it's maybe just me who almost pities him and that's such a horrible thing to say.
I've started to pay more attention lately to the things he says and at times find myself cringing - he's just very naive sounding and lacks a lot of general knowledge but I've always just thought that doesn't matter but now i worry what we will have to speak about for the rest of our lives and what he will have to teach our children etc.
I sound very unfair - I feel terrible for feeling and thinking this way - it's like a switch has been flicked and I can't flick it back.
He deserves someone who accepts him for him and doesn't think this way. I feel so bad and don't know what to do. Is this just normal cold feet/jitters? Doesn't seem that bad compared to some relationships so maybe I'm just panicking as I'm not a very decisive person and this is a big commitment.
Any experience of these types of jitters or advice from anyone who has cancelled a wedding?
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Relationships
Should I marry him?
Anna6567 · 04/08/2016 17:55
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