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Is this a red flag?

(104 Posts)
WTAFF Wed 03-Aug-16 08:30:11

I went on a date yesterday with a man I've been dating for a few weeks.

He told me we were going on a walk. I was really looking forward to it and was dressed appropriately with boots etc.

The walk turned out to be a hike along a high river cliff which was completely overgrown. At points I was having to practically crawl under trees and cling on to the grass so as not to fall over the cliff. Although I admit I'm not great with heights. I was genuinely scared.

He took a bit of a huff that I was struggling and walked on ahead not speaking to me. When I asked why he couldn't have helped me out a bit instead of walking off (at some points I actually couldn't see him) he said there was no point, as if he helped me we would both grind to a halt and his way, at least one of us kept moving. He also said I needed to find my own way.

I'm a bit shock. I'm meant to be seeing him again on Friday. I suggested going out for a meal but he said we could get a takeaway instead. Should I ditch him now before it gets worse or am I over-reacting?

Notfastjustfurious Wed 03-Aug-16 08:33:16

At this early stage he shouldn't be going off in a huff and leaving you on a cliff edge to find your own way. Fuck that. I'd say that's a sign of what he's really like and go now before there's feelings/attachment etc.

DownstairsMixUp Wed 03-Aug-16 08:35:13

I'd say leave to. Sorry!

Only1scoop Wed 03-Aug-16 08:35:44

Not necessarily a red flag, but I think you may have different interestswink

CwtchyQ Wed 03-Aug-16 08:36:56


ditsygal Wed 03-Aug-16 08:37:36

It's a sign of what sort of partner he will be. I wouldn't expect my husband to act like that! I would definitely move on from him.

GinIsIn Wed 03-Aug-16 08:38:05

Why on earth would you want to see an arse-hat like that again anyway?! Good riddance!

HooseRice Wed 03-Aug-16 08:38:12

He's a pillock, move on. No need to worry about red flags.

Graceflorrick Wed 03-Aug-16 08:38:41

Never see him again!

Northernpowerhouse Wed 03-Aug-16 08:42:06

If this is the honeymoon phase, what will he be like futher down the line? Definitely, Next!

TellMeSomethingNew Wed 03-Aug-16 08:44:14

I think it depends how he said it. If he was legitimately annoyed then maybe give him another chance but not more than that, if he was laughing and made a bit of a joke about it I think you might be over reacting a bit smile

attsca Wed 03-Aug-16 08:48:38

He sounds bonkers, that's not a date.

KittyKrap Wed 03-Aug-16 08:50:55

Fuck that shit!

ElspethFlashman Wed 03-Aug-16 08:52:15

My Dad used to pull that shit when I was a kid. Those awful "improving walks".

You're dating my Dad, and he's treating you like you're his kid, getting huffy that you're falling behind and spoiling it for everyone.


aLeafFalls Wed 03-Aug-16 08:53:01

Why would you even consider it?

QueenLaBeefah Wed 03-Aug-16 08:55:11

He sounds awful.

Destinysdaughter Wed 03-Aug-16 08:57:19

Appalling behaviour.



Selfish, arrogant, uncaring. And tight

Just no.

sarahnova69 Wed 03-Aug-16 09:01:13

So, right at the start of things, he has to be in control, he decides what you do, and if you fail in any way to live up to his mental model of the ways things should go, he sulks like a child and leaves you to it.

...yes, he is dressed from head to foot in red flags. Ditch.

mimishimmi Wed 03-Aug-16 09:08:04


WavingNotDrowning Wed 03-Aug-16 09:08:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FreeFromHarm Wed 03-Aug-16 09:08:25

Red flag definately

WavingNotDrowning Wed 03-Aug-16 09:08:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RedMapleLeaf Wed 03-Aug-16 09:10:54

He should be all about showing you how caring and considerate he is at this stage. This is him at his best.

davos Wed 03-Aug-16 09:11:58

Not sure I would classify it as a 'red flag' but he sounds like an arse who doesn't have any patience.

I would love a hike as a date. I wouldn't love someone being a tit because I can't keep up, especially if it's not something you do a lot.

ProfessorPickles Wed 03-Aug-16 09:12:11

Run a mile, imagine yourself doing it to him. Would you have walked off leaving him struggling?

The most important thing MN has taught me is to listen when people are telling you who they are, and he's given you a great example of who he is!

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