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Just found out partner has been cheating

(262 Posts)
Standingonmytippytoes Tue 02-Aug-16 18:23:55

That's it really. We've been together 10 years. The girl in question came around an hour ago to inform me. Apparently according to him because he ended things with her.
I had a long post but I lost it and I say girl because she was 17. Partner is 33.

Scarydinosaurs Tue 02-Aug-16 18:24:41

Jesus wept- 17???

Have you children together? I'm so sorry this has happened.

Standingonmytippytoes Tue 02-Aug-16 18:26:56

We have 2 both of which have SEN.

Standingonmytippytoes Tue 02-Aug-16 18:28:11

She also informed me that they've been sleeping together in my bed partner denys this.

Arfarfanarf Tue 02-Aug-16 18:34:46

Well he would, wouldnt he?

If he's claiming nothing happened he wont mind you asking her to describe your bedroom, right? Which if she's never been in it she wont be able to do.

Does he deny the affair entirely or just the your bedroom part of it?

Amythest001 Tue 02-Aug-16 18:38:03

Oh god how awful for you...I'm so sorry xx
You will get loads of support on here.
Do you know her?

Scarydinosaurs Tue 02-Aug-16 18:40:48

Do you both own the home or rent? Can you ask him to leave to give you space?

I hope your kids aren't too upset by it all.

Missgraeme Tue 02-Aug-16 18:41:19

Did she give enough details that she isn't lying? Maybe she made a pass at him and was knocked back? What was his defence at the allegation?

Graceflorrick Tue 02-Aug-16 18:41:48

What does you 'do' do for a living? How does he know this teenager?

Graceflorrick Tue 02-Aug-16 18:42:02

Your 'do' I meant.

Graceflorrick Tue 02-Aug-16 18:42:18

DP, oh dear grin

Standingonmytippytoes Tue 02-Aug-16 18:44:17

He's not denying it apparently he was planning to tell me all about it tonight. That's a good idea asking her to describe my bedroom she also sent me a lovely facebook pm letting me know about their activities and their plans for this weekend while I was away.

I don't know her but a few months ago he told me about a girl that came into his work and told me she wanted him and didn't care thay he was in a relationship she just wanted sex.
He told me he told her to go away but she turned up again.

ayeokthen Tue 02-Aug-16 18:44:59

OP that's awful I'm so sorry. I know this might sound ridiculous, but can she describe your bedroom? If not she might just be a spiteful little bitch trying to cause trouble.

ayeokthen Tue 02-Aug-16 18:45:32

X post, sorry. Lots of love OP, what a cunt he is.

Graceflorrick Tue 02-Aug-16 18:46:16

He may have been covering himself a few weeks ago, knowing it was a possibility she would come to the house.

Is he in a position of authority (or teacher)band therefore, taken advantage of this?

Amythest001 Tue 02-Aug-16 18:50:44

She is a year older than my daughter...I would be livid if I was her mum too!
What a mess I'm so sorry xx

Standingonmytippytoes Tue 02-Aug-16 18:53:31

He works in retail not in a position of authority. Tbh I'm tempted to go to her parents house and let them know what she's been up to.
I just can't being myself though because the fault lies with him.

AGruffaloCrumble Tue 02-Aug-16 18:56:14

As much as I'm not defending her, she is only 17. She's a child, clearly displayed by the fact she has made this song and dance. Focus your rage on your scumbag partner.

Standingonmytippytoes Tue 02-Aug-16 18:57:36

I've told him to leave he refuses apparently "we need to work through this."

The kids are still up and although they don't know what's going on they would get stressed at raised voices so trying to keep calm.

Missgraeme Tue 02-Aug-16 18:58:35

A malicious 17 year old home wrecker tho! I would be contacting her parents!

AGruffaloCrumble Tue 02-Aug-16 19:06:46

She is a kid hmm depending on how long it's been going on for she could have actually been underage when it started or when they met.

ButIbeingpoor Tue 02-Aug-16 19:12:51

My exH at aged 41 had an affair with the 18 year old daughter of our friends. When I saw Dr Foster on TVs, I nearly had a heart attack.
Previous posters are saying at 17 she is just a child. Yes she is young but she can legally have sex, get married and she should know ( or learn) the implications of her own sexual behaviour.

Standingonmytippytoes Tue 02-Aug-16 19:13:16

Turns out she was in our bed I've told him to leave.

NotAnotherHarlot Tue 02-Aug-16 19:14:41

He is nearly double her age. Awful. Poor you.

Shizzlestix Tue 02-Aug-16 19:15:18

Deco tell her parents.

Do you rent or own? I'd make him leave, no way would I ever have the scumbag near me again.

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