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Planning my wedding & Parent's 40th Anniversary

(15 Posts)
PillyPepper Tue 02-Aug-16 15:38:58

So we are planning our wedding and a date that we liked linked into my parents anniversary the following day which I thought was a lovely thing, not really thinking that it would be their 40th anniversary next year. When I told them the day we had planned it was suddenly a big issue that they were planning getting the family together to celebrate their day. Am I being unfair expecting them to move their celebrations to either the week before or the week after? I don't know what to do and feel awful about the whole thing. Any advice would be great.

bombayflambe Tue 02-Aug-16 15:41:28

Ruby wedding?
Sorry but you need to get married on another day.

TheNaze73 Tue 02-Aug-16 15:42:50

That's a dilemma and a half. I can see both sides but, there big celebration will inevitably be overshadowed by a wedding in their eyes. I personally wouldn't have a problem with it but, it's different strokes, for different folks. Hope it gets sorted

MatildaTheCat Tue 02-Aug-16 16:17:38

Sorry but if they are upset then change your date. If you do change it then make it by several weeks or months otherwise many of the guests will be travelling to both a casinos and nobody will enjoy that on two consecutive or close weekends.

Didn't you think to ask your parents?

MatildaTheCat Tue 02-Aug-16 16:19:15

Occasions, not casinos. I doubt you've considered a casino. smile

Stillunexpected Tue 02-Aug-16 16:22:28

You need a new date. It's not like your parents can change the date of their wedding anniversary, it's been the same date for 40 years! It's nice idea to link your wedding into their celebration but I think they will understandably feel overshadowed and your guests will probably be groaning at the thought of two major family parties on two consecutive days with most of the females wanting a different outfit, second present, additional accommodation costs etc.

canyou Tue 02-Aug-16 16:25:16

If you have nothing booked I would change the date to allow your parents celebrate 40 years anniversary.
Let them have their day and you your day.

HeddaGarbled Tue 02-Aug-16 16:34:41

People won't want to celebrate your wedding one weekend and then the Ruby anniversary the following or previous weekend. Too expensive and time consuming especially if they have to travel a long way and stay overnight. If your parents aren't happy to make it a joint celebration, which it sounds like they aren't then you need to move your wedding.

PillyPepper Tue 02-Aug-16 16:56:20

The parents celebration is taking immediate family out to dinner, it is not a huge party

happypoobum Tue 02-Aug-16 16:58:40

No, it's not fair to expect them to move the date of their anniversary bash. It is when it is!

You could get married any week of the year. If I were your mother I would be thinking you were stealing my thunder.

Book another date.

MatildaTheCat Tue 02-Aug-16 16:59:16

Its still their special day. There are plenty of other days in the year for you to chose from.

PlaymobilPirate Tue 02-Aug-16 16:59:45

They've had the same anniversary for 39 years - you can't expect them to change it! Have you even booked your wedding??

PillyPepper Wed 03-Aug-16 15:30:09

Wedding is going ahead on that day, parents are celebrating their anniversary the following day (with everyone they wanted to invite to the meal being at the wedding and so in the same place) and everyone is happy.

Stillunexpected Wed 03-Aug-16 17:34:05

So yesterday it was a "big issue" and now suddenly "everyone is happy"?

mouldycheesefan Wed 03-Aug-16 17:35:59

Which is it, everyone is happy or it's a big issue?

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