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New boyfriend and children

(9 Posts)
seahorse106 Mon 01-Aug-16 23:09:52

I have been separated from my ex for around 19 months. We still get on really well and we have 2 dds
He is in a relationship with someone who also has 2 dds and they spend a lot of time together and have a nice time.
I've been seeing someone for 4 months and he doesn't have any children and I think he's a bit nervous about being around mine as I only seem to see him either during the day or weekends when the girls are with their dad.
What is the best way of introducing my dds to him? He has met both of them briefly but I'd like to spend time all together soon.

HeddaGarbled Mon 01-Aug-16 23:16:16

TBH I wouldn't push it after just 4 months. You're still just in the dating phase and it could easily not last. Why go through all the rigmarole and pressure if you then split up before the year's out? Also, your kids might scare him off! I'd wait until things are a bit more serious and looking like a long term commitment.

seahorse106 Mon 01-Aug-16 23:25:53

Yes you're right actually thank you.
I'm a bit worried they would scare him off actually!
I don't think he's ever really been around many children bless him!

Minime85 Mon 01-Aug-16 23:28:44

We did a cup of tea at home and then met up at local park a few days later. So much varying advice on when to introduce. I think you need to have a sense of it is long term or not. I'm not one for thinking wait too long as in my mind if you wait ages and then introduce them and they don't get on then wasted a lot of time on it.

tipsytrifle Mon 01-Aug-16 23:32:08

Agreeing with HeddaGarbled - a bit soon to step further into family life with this b/f. Why not concentrate on exploring this relationship between yourselves rather than involving DCs yet? We don't know your ages or situations other than he is childless, but whatever - 4mths really is no time to be considering this man as a new partner and getting him involved in family dynamics. Just because ex (H b/f or P?) has a new involvement doesn't mean DC have adapted to all and everything just so. How would it affect them if you brought a new man onto the family scene? Just random thoughts.

seahorse106 Tue 02-Aug-16 00:03:20

Thank you yes it is early days yet although things are going very well indeed!

Mummydummy Tue 02-Aug-16 00:11:20

I think I was initially very cautious about introducing boyfriends to my children (I have been divorced for 8 years) but more recently I've introduced two now ex boyfriends to them. I would be very happy now if I hadn't. It was not a massive mistake but it required more explanation and awareness on their part than I now think helpful with regards to my privacy and emotions. So take it easy and give it time. There's no rush at all to play happy famillies and you need to enjoy just being the two of you. Thats the fun bit.

TheNaze73 Tue 02-Aug-16 08:21:15

Don't rush it, it's only been 4 months OP. Your DC's are your #1 priority & I'd not introduce them to anyone unless you see this guy, as a lifelong partner. It could be so confusing & upsetting for them. As for your DP, his nerves could also be slight reluctance at this stage.

SandyY2K Tue 02-Aug-16 08:24:12

I agree that you should wait until the relationship is more serious. There's no rush at all right now.

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