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Bad Feeling about Forthcoming Wedding

(3 Posts)
kinloss Mon 01-Aug-16 13:36:14

I've had this off and on ever since the person - younger generation of my family announced her engagement.

I've tried to squash the feeling for the younger person's sake and appear like a good older relative. We are closely connected.

But it kicked in again after a phonecall yesterday. The relative is a teacher. She and her husband-to-be have bought a flat. She's got the holidays ahead of her - and has already has had some time to recharge with fiance and friends. (She was ringing from future inlaws, where they were staying.) But she just sounded not herself. Down. Stressed. Fretting about some cleaning and decorating that was needed to new flat, and there not being time for the two of them to do it together and having to get quotes, and no she couldn't be sure when she'd have time to see us. (The distance is such that a day trip is quite feasible.)

I've had worries in the past that her fiance is attempting to cut her off from her family. He's been rude about other relatives in my hearing and has visited us once (briefly) in the last year. As we're very close relations, it has seemed a bit off-putting that he's made not attempt to get to know us - when his fiancee is expected to accompany him regularly to see his parents. (And does so.)

Nothing I can do is there?

GashleyCrumbTiny Mon 01-Aug-16 13:48:30

Hmmm. Not sure what you can practically do. But keep the lines of communication open - email, texts, whatever. You could maybe use the wedding as a way to open a conversation? Something like: you sounded stressed the other day, hope the wedding prep isn't getting too much. But not much you can do if they don't tell you anything further. Just try and stay available, I guess.

junebirthdaygirl Mon 01-Aug-16 16:11:51

Could you go there? Bring her out to lunch. Just pretty quick visit. Tell her you can't wait to hear all the news about the wedding / new apartment. No pressure. Keep in touch with cheery texts as well.

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