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please someone help me decipher what happened....(title amended by MNHQ - trigger warning)

(151 Posts)
whatthefuck9 Sun 31-Jul-16 22:00:12

Ive name changed for this as too scared ill be recognised but could really do with speaking to someone
My heads such a mess i invited some new neighbours over for a drink the other night , ive only met them to say hi to so thought it would be nice to get to know them and make a new friend hopefully
While we were having a drink they told me about the wild lifestyle they lead....swingers clubs/escorts etc ( all this on the 1st time id really even spoken to them) i was a bit taken aback but laughed along like each to thier own etc as didnt want to be rude
Heres where it all gets very vague sad i had a call off a friend at midnight which i remember and them both still being here i didnt feel drunk infact id had less to drink than i sometimes do sat on my own watching tv, my next memory is 3 hrs later when i woke up/came round feeling violently sick and he was on top of me sad i pushed him off and ran into the bathroom to be sick and i vaguley recollect him tucking me into bed? Dont know how much later that was, dont remember him leaving or letting him out or anything really until i phoned my friend about 4am crying hystetically
I have literally no memories of between the call from my friend and maybe 3 hrs later when i came round in bed with him on top of me....when i came downstairs after he left my trousers and underwear were in the living room though
Please someone talk to me im falling apart here terrified of what happened in those lost hours sad

onewhitepillowleft Sun 31-Jul-16 22:02:00

I'm around and listening.

If you think they might have slipped something into your drink, don't wash up any of the glasses.

Have you had something to eat and some water to drink?

GirlWithTheLionHeart Sun 31-Jul-16 22:02:44

Sounds like you were drugged sweetheart. I'm sorry. Do they live next door?
You need to call the police and report this

onewhitepillowleft Sun 31-Jul-16 22:03:51

Can you contact the friend who phoned you and speak to her about it?

You've done nothing wrong.

whatthefuck9 Sun 31-Jul-16 22:04:13

Hi ive already washed up and yeah tried to eat and drink but i keep being sick .... i just want to know what happened as my mind is running wild i know no one on here can tell me that though but it helps to be able to get it out

Fettuccinecarbonara Sun 31-Jul-16 22:04:19

I'm here.
Can your friend remember the conversation? Did you say anything relevant to them?
As frightening as it sounds, I think you need to report this to the police.
Do you have anyone who could come and be with you?

Cary2012 Sun 31-Jul-16 22:06:13

Drink spiked, not your fault. Tell police. See GP for advice re screening. What a horrible thing to happen in your own home x

Capricornandproud Sun 31-Jul-16 22:06:26

Call the police immediately or go to a station. Call a friend or family member to stay with you and don't wash your clothing or bedsheets. Sending hugs to you xx

onewhitepillowleft Sun 31-Jul-16 22:07:22

If you are being sick and it was more than 24 hours ago (you said the other night, so I am guessing Friday?) then you need to see a doctor. Is there someone who could come with you to A and E? Or ring NHS direct?

I think a rape crisis helpline would be able to give you information about date rape drugs and your health and what the next steps are.

CalleighDoodle Sun 31-Jul-16 22:08:03

Was this last night?

fastdaytears Sun 31-Jul-16 22:08:21

Call the police asap or get tested somehow in case your drink was spiked. It sounds wrong to me. Normal drunkeness wouldn't go from fine at midnight to black out.

Can someone come round and help you report?


pallasathena Sun 31-Jul-16 22:08:55

Contact the police, you really need to report what happened for yourself and for anyone else who has found themselves victim to these abusers because that's what they are my lovely, criminal abusers.
There are laws about this.
Take care of yourself. You must be strong now and report what happened to the authorities.

whatthefuck9 Sun 31-Jul-16 22:09:23

Yeah my friend remembers the conversation.... he says i was crying hysterically and couldnt breathe, i told him everything i knew which is very little i thought maybe some memories might start coming back but there literally is nothing i remember from that whole time period...maybe 3 hrs?
Why were my jeans and underwear in the lounge?! I wouldnt just strip infront of people i didnt know and certainly wasnt attracted to him or flirting i thought i was making new friends sad

Cary2012 Sun 31-Jul-16 22:11:49

Sorry to be personal, but was there any bruising, soreness? Bless you this is so unfair.

whatthefuck9 Sun 31-Jul-16 22:12:03

I havent been to the doc and am going away tomorrow.... i dont want to report it i dont even know what happened and they live so close they could make my life hell
I saw them yesterday and today and its like they are my new best friends being overly nice to me its really creeped me out like did that really happen?!? But i know it did sad

Fettuccinecarbonara Sun 31-Jul-16 22:13:05

The fact that you called someone straight after is very good police evidence. Whilst you will be believed by the police, they will need more than 'just' belief in order to prosecute successfully.
Blood tests to prove spiking. Phone calls, maybe even the previous convictions of these people, all help to put an end to this awful behaviour.
Please consider reporting - take back control from these monsters and protect others.

Cary2012 Sun 31-Jul-16 22:14:07

You can't be intimidated by them, know you're scared, but please report this. Phone a helpline as suggested?

whatthefuck9 Sun 31-Jul-16 22:15:25

No i dont feel bruised .... he was on top of me when i woke up but just got out of the way when i came round as i pushed him off to run and be sick and i have a vague recollection of him being nice to me before he left but im not even sure if thats accurate as theres so much memory ive lost.... i do remember speaking to my friend after, i didnt realise i was as hysterical as he says i was but i wasnt drunk/slurring etc just panicking and very disorientated maybe that was panic though

whatthefuck9 Sun 31-Jul-16 22:21:27

I have called the samaritans earlier as needed to get it off my chest.... i spoke to my friend i called yesterday and he was suprised how calm i was i just felt numb today its hit me like a ton of bricks again though

Sofie88 Sun 31-Jul-16 22:23:10

Oh lovey flowers
So sorry this has happened to you, like others posts have said you need to report it and the sooner the better.

Cary2012 Sun 31-Jul-16 22:23:13

one of my dd's had her drink spiked at a Festival, luckily her friends and dp and ds stayed with her. She was very hyper and anxious, like having a panic attack when she came round. She lost three hours. Doctor did bloods the next day and they found traces of a well known date rape drug.Dr said her highly anxious state was a typical reaction.

Resilience16 Sun 31-Jul-16 22:26:01

If you don't feel up to reporting this to the police, please see this info on the Rape Crisis website-
If you are not sure whether you want to report to the police or not yet, you might choose to go directly to a Sexual Assault Referral Centre (SARC), if there is one in your area. It's good to take a friend or trusted person with you if you can.

At the SARC, you can have a forensic medical examination, as well as tests for sexually transmitted infections and pregnancy. The SARC should not pressure you into reporting to the police and they can store the results of the forensic examination (or evidence) until you make up your mind whether to report to the police or not. SARCs have specially trained professionals who can give you medical help and advice. They can also help and support you through your immediate trauma.

You can find your nearest SARC by calling the NHS 111 non-emergency service, speaking to your GP or the Accident & Emergency (A&E) department of your local hospital, or by visiting the NHS Choices website.

whatthefuck9 Sun 31-Jul-16 22:30:29

Thank you for your replies im falling apart here but it helps to talk
I cant go and get tested as im going on holiday in the morning ....
Re the highly anxious state when i woke up .... i dont remember being terrified when i came round just that i had to be sick so pushed him off still not really realising what was going on i guess when i phoned my friend though i was in a right state
I dont know at what point his wife went home...she was here at midnight when i was on the phone but not when i woke up i dont think anyway as i didnt get up to let him out i just lay there until i was on the phone to my friend.....
Its all so hazy i have no reference point to say such n such cant have happened coz i was doing this at the time etc its like someones flicked a switch off after the phonecall and on again hrs later and however much i try to remember i cant remember a thing ..... my minds running wild now sad

onewhitepillowleft Sun 31-Jul-16 22:32:37

Is there a chance you might be or become pregnant? If so, sorting that out is more important than the holiday. You can get MAP at an all night chemist.

TuppencePenny Sun 31-Jul-16 22:32:53

What time are you going on holiday? I think if you don't go and get tested you will regret it further down the line as it gives you the option of taking this further which even though you don't feel like doing now you may feel stronger and want to soon. Please don't allow these monsters to cause you to live in fear. They need to face consequences for what they've done to you. I'm so so sorry this has happened to you.

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