My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Aworks what is this

18 replies

user1465333936 · 30/07/2016 16:42

Hi I posted on the 8 June asking what a works .com was . I'm updating my situation and need some help and advice .after the advice I should have listened to I decided to let him stay and sort things out .we already had aioli day booked before I found out about him being on aworks on that holiday he said he would rather kill himself than lose me that he loved me and did not want to leave me I decided to see if I could forgive him .only to find more so all through one month he every other day he had been paying epoch multi med one was for £15 and pence then another payment similar price and then some more payments made to them of less using PayPal twice to pay epoch multi med then a payment of £32 to epoch .com I can't find anything on this but I feel it is more rubbish does anyone know about this site and what is he paying for I confronted him saying I knew it was another adult site even though I just get sent to site that says put in your password ect if you have a problem with payment I did confront him he just put his head down and said I don't use it anymore all he would say is I stopped becouse they were crap I said well you have been using all theses sites for nearly 2 yrs that I know of now and you have spent a lot of money what were you getting for £32 and all the others money you spent so they can't have been that crap he put his head down he said he would wipe his phone clean even though there's nothing on it.he won't give me any info or let me look at the sights he won't give me his password he just keeps saying he never had accounts with them he has also changed his bank so he has anew account now he left his old bank saying he done all this for me to make me feel secure he has cancelled his master card ripped it up so he says he said I can read all his bank statements but now he has got online banking were he doesn't get postal statements I told him I want to read them I am such a mess I keep going on at him he keeps getting annoyed and just walks away becouse I was trying to talk to him about what he has done he got annoyed and said my few days off work and your doing this .i have no strength left at all I'm numb .i do love him iv given up a lot for him .please I need to know if any one can help what epoch multi med is and what epoch .com is I can't live like this I have no trust left at all god I feel like a freak I feel he has chosen them over me because I'm ugly and haven't got what they have to offer .but I know it's not right I'm thin not ugly I don't have huge breasts I'm just a mere 36 b but there not horrible I let him have what he wants which is mainly oral and anal amongst what ever he wants I never turn him away I'm loving and affectionate to him what did I wrong guys

OP posts:
Report
CaoNiMa · 30/07/2016 16:46

What you did wrong was taking him back.

Report
dobbythefuckingjizzelf · 30/07/2016 16:51

Epoch is a payment service provider for mainly adult sites as far as I know in much the same way as streamline or worldpay are for normal retail businesses

Report
dobbythefuckingjizzelf · 30/07/2016 16:51

Don't be hard on yourself you are not the problem here he is

Report
whattodoforthebest2 · 30/07/2016 16:53

Believe me, this is nothing to do you with you - it's not what you look like, who you are, or what you do for him sexually. None of it is because of you. He's a nasty, cheating liar and he always will be. He's sorry he's been caught out AGAIN. It will happen again and he'll hide it again.

Do yourself a favour and throw him out. End it now, spend some time working on your self-esteem and then enjoy your life without him draining the joy out of it. See your friends, find new interests and move on - the sooner you can do it, the better.

Flowers

Report
BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 30/07/2016 17:11

Cam-girls and prostitutes. That's what he wants and thinks he deserves. None of this has anything to do with any failings you might have. He will just get better at hiding it. You now know what he is and what he does. It's up to you whether you think you can live with this because he won't stop. He either can't or doesn't see the need to. He will just get better at hiding it.

He is not the man you thought he was, and he's not worthy of you.

Don't listen to his justification and pretense at stopping. He won't. He's a lair and a betrayer, so get rid of him.

Report
smilingeyes11 · 30/07/2016 17:14

yuck what a vile man - why would you stay

I am afraid to say you should get sti tested pronto too, as well as getting him out of your life for good.

Report
Cabrinha · 30/07/2016 17:30

That was really kind of him to delete all the evidence for your sake Hmm

You need to seriously look at why he can treat you like shit and you still say you love him.

Ditch him, get a counsellor instead.

Report
loveyoutothemoon · 30/07/2016 17:57

You don't like full stops or paragraphs do you?! That was so hard to read.

Report
Cabrinha · 30/07/2016 18:01

Yes it was hard to read but that doesn't mean that her boyfriend isn't an arsehole and that she isn't in a horrible situation needing support.

Report
loveyoutothemoon · 30/07/2016 18:10

Sorry

Was that your last chance to trust him? Do you believe him?

Report
Resilience16 · 30/07/2016 22:10

I am sorry you are in this horrible situation. You are not to blame here. You have done nothing wrong. This guy is manipulating you and taking the piss. If someone loves you they don't try to hurt, cheat,lie and blame you.
The longer you stay with this charmer the more you will get ground down.
You deserve better, you know that x

Report
SandyY2K · 30/07/2016 22:45

I'd say you have more than enough evidence to tell you he's up to no good ... what more are you looking for?

Cutting up his Mastercard means nothing.
Deleting the info, is CHA ( covering his ass)

What stops him from getting another CC?


You either accept this is him or leave.

BTW ... don't fall for his emotional blackmail of suicide. That's very low of him.

Report
coco1810 · 30/07/2016 23:15

User I could not read that and not respond. Your despair and desolation literally leaps off the page. Here's my view: Tonight, you get your night things, clothes for morning etc and sleep in the spare room (if possible, lock the door). This man has been using your emotions, your love and your body and tonight you make it stop.

Lots of people on here are telling you to LTB. Only you can make the decision of when to do that. I hope that you do. You gave him a chance, he blew it. He has continued with his behaviour after you very clearly told him to stop. Whether he's addicted to porn or not, the second he continued to pay for these things, he checked out of your relationship. You are worth far more than this, you deserve to be in a respectful, loving relationship. You deserve to have your partner make love to you, not use your body to gratify himself which is how it sounds to me. Your figure or your boob size is not the issue here. Katie Price had huge bangers but that didn't stop her husband cheating!

Can you leave the home and stay with friends or family? I know that probably sounds dreadful to let people know in RL what's happening, but you need a support system. Are you able to get him to leave or is rent/mortgage going to be an issue? Contact CAB or Women's Aid for advice.

You haven't caused this, you are not a freak. Please break free from this relationship, you are worth so much more. Big hugs x

Report
coco1810 · 30/07/2016 23:18

Oh, and the comment about the punctuation was bang out of order. OP is in obvious distress, something tells me full stops and paragraphs are the least of her worries.

Report
Meeep · 30/07/2016 23:23

You don't get faithfulness by doing anal and having nice tits.
You get faithfulness by having a decent partner.

This is not something you've done wrong or caused.

Report
Isetan · 31/07/2016 07:15

You're asking the wrong question, it isn't 'Why does he behave this way?' It's 'Why do I let him'?

This is who he is, stop expecting him to be someone else.

Report
WamBamThankYouMaam · 31/07/2016 16:44

Sorry but he's still lying to you.

I've used adultwork myself and you have to have an account to use cam services and to credit to x

If he wanted to make you feel better then you'd have full disclosure, not hiding everything away from you.

Report
happypoobum · 31/07/2016 17:10

I agree with Isetan. You really need to think about ways of building up your self esteem so you don't get suckered into another shit relationship like this in the future.

The sooner you get rid of this loser, the quicker you will start to feel better. Flowers

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.