My girlfriend goes away with the scouts (she's been a scout since she was a baby) they're camping abroad for 3 weeks & everyone else will be adults there (kind of a mini jamboree). I'm worried because I'll miss her like crazy whilst she's gone, I also worry that some of the guys will try to flirt with her and try and sleep with her, I do trust her as much as I can but I'm not a very trusting person. I'm a little worried that after a couple of weeks if she's getting on with a guy really well maybe her feelings will fade a bit and she'll be taken in the moment (so to speak).
I know it's not something I should worry about as if it happens, it happens and there's nothing I can do about it, but that doesn't stop my mind from taking me there.
She's going with a guy that likes her (romantically) and has done for years ( I don't see him as much of a threat as he's a little odd & not much of a looker) but still not keen on that idea either.
And lastly I'm just a bit down about the whole thing, she's gone for 3 weeks & we've not been apart more than 4-5 days at a time since we've been together. I'm just going to really miss her (pathetic, I know).
To give you some context on our relationship, we're completely in love with each other, have planned our kids names etc. Talk about marriage and being together for life, been on holidays together & we're best friends. I just worry about losing it all.
have any of you had long holidays away from your partner & how did you cope?
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Relationships
Worried about Girlfriend going away for 3 weeks
user1469724650 · 28/07/2016 17:53
You either trust her or you don't. If she wanted the odd ugly man 
that's liked her for years then she would have chosen him not you. She didn't.
Maybe she doesn't trust you either & thinks your feelings will fade over the 3 weeks as well.
Look I don't mean to be harsh, but a healthy relationship means trusting each other & being able to be apart. Being with someone all the time & planning weddings & babies & being in each others pockets is fine short term but it sounds too suffocating to last. Eventually you are going to have to calm down & accept that you are still both individuals & you will both have nights out when you come in drunk & you will have weeks where you don't see each like this one, but that's OK & its nothing to panic & get anxious about. Just chill the fuck out & stop catastrophising it! If its meant to last then it will, if it isn't then it won't & you can do fuck all about it whilst she's away. Go & enjoy yourself :)
You are brave, OP 
MNers - sounds as if OP is young and a bit insecure - we've all been there, let's try and reserve our reverse LTB 
OP - rule 101 of long lasting relationship is that you HAVE to have space from your significant other, otherwise you'll drive yourselves mad. Take this opportunity to do some things on your own - fitness, walks, reading, hanging out with friends, just catching up with life. I know those things are probably significantly more exciting with your girlfriend, but have fun by yourself too. Your girlfriend hasn't gone away to shag anyone else, she's gone away to do something she's been doing for years - and there is a reason why she's not hooked up with the other guy, so please try to forget about that . It's also a scout trip, last time I checked they weren't hot beds of shagathons
You will miss her. She'll miss you - but she'll be doing something she loves doing, and she has interests independent of you - now it's your time to do something similar.
Lastly - you do need to work on those trust issues. Identify where they originate from - is it a past experience/relationship? Have you experienced infidelity yourself, or have your parents? Or is it the widespread knowledge that people cheat? What would you do if your girlfriend did cheat? As harsh as it sounds, you'd survive. You're young and have no responsibilities such as mortgages, kids or marriage. This isn't to say she will cheat, but rather that you need to not see "cheating" at this stage in life as some kind of insurmountable experience that will prevent you from fully trusting people. If you do so, you'll prevent yourself from fully enjoying your relationship with your girlfriend, at the same time as risking pushing her away with neediness.
Well I'll be kind because I think you're sweet for coming here & wanting a female perspective on this.
It's not Glastonbury (or Leeds 1999 ahem...) so I wouldn't expect it to be a shagfest tbh. It all sounds very wholesome & she knows most of the people going so I can honestly say that you have nothing to worry about.
Even if it was Leeds 1999 (
) worrying makes no difference to anything and if something's going to happen, it's going to happen.
Keep yourself busy & it'll fly by :)
I appreciate all the comments, good or bad you've helped me realise I'm being stupid, I do hope she enjoys herself, just being a worrier because she's going today. Thanks all. (I'm 21 and this is my first real long term girlfriend, spent previous 6 years sleeping around casually )
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It's the reality of life isn't it, JoysMum
I think a lot of us have the benefit of hindsight, age and wisdom and may compartmentalise (or choose to forget entirely) the times we've felt fraught, insecure and afraid - especially when confronted with overwhelming emotions. They don't laugh at teenage girls with crushes for nothing
Although there are many controlling men out there who cite "trust" as a reason to belittle, abuse and harass women (and men) in relationships, there are plenty of men out there who deal, like women, with anxiety within relationships and need help identifying why and how to get over it.
I do believe we've become too easily accustomed to pigeon-holing trust issues in men as instant red flags, because we're so much more aware of the affects of abuse within a relationship. Knowing more is of course so much more beneficial than those darker years of decades before where people suffered in silence, but it's always worth ensuring objectivity and a bit of compassion is on the table too.
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