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Since baby can't share bed with DH - help!

(12 Posts)
yhpets8 Wed 27-Jul-16 16:03:43

Since my DD was born almost a year ago, I've been unable to share a bed with DH. I used to be a heavy sleeper, able to fall asleep quickly and easily and to stay that way until morning. Now I'm a mum I'm a much lighter sleeper.

DH is a bad sleeper and a real fidget in bed, and he fidgets for what seems like most of the night, even when asleep. It drives me crazy, waking me up and keeping me awake. Now he wakes me up more than the baby and I just can't deal with it. So we've been sleeping separately which isn't great for our relationship. He's just been to the doctor for his bad sleeping who has given him sleeping pills as a temporary measure (she said it's not a long-term solution).

Has anyone else experienced this? Any tips to help us sleep in the same bed again?

frazmum Wed 27-Jul-16 22:05:17

Sorry to hear, very frustrating for you both. Can you share the same room or does that not work either?

bedouincheek Wed 27-Jul-16 22:24:55

Would separate mattresses that link together, and 2 duvets help? My other half has leg twitches when very tired and snores like a cruise ship. Earplugs and 2 duvets has helped a lot. Making sure he's well rested until we can afford a new bed it will have do.

flanjabelle Wed 27-Jul-16 22:31:00

Super king bed with a really decent mattress that doesn't wobble you when he moves around. It's the only thing that has worked for us. That and earplugs and a light sedative for me. Dp is extreme though, he shouts in his sleep, thrashes around and then snores very loudly when he is in a deeper sleep. It's a good thing I love him.

winewolfhowls Wed 27-Jul-16 23:08:07

Does he smoke weed, my partner smoked when younger and it had this effect.

HeddaGarbled Wed 27-Jul-16 23:41:42

TBH, is it the end of the world if you sleep in separate rooms? Getting enough sleep is so important and not getting enough sleep will make you feel murderous towards each other. You can spend time together on the settee in the evenings, go to one bed when you're up for a shag and then one of you slip off to the other room when it's time to sleep. A cup of tea in the same bed on a weekend morning is good for keeping the feeling that you share a bed, just not when you need sleep.

HermioneJeanGranger Thu 28-Jul-16 09:18:08

OH is like this - he moves around a lot and snores! We have separate duvets and a super kingsize bed. I also wear earplugs. We don't live together but that's the arrangement when I stay at his, otherwise I end up murderous due to lack of sleep!

yhpets8 Thu 28-Jul-16 10:53:56

Thanks all. Before I got pregnant we slept on a futon which was great because it's so solid that you can hardly feel the other person's movement. But when pregnant it became too uncomfortable and i needed a mattress. So we invested in a fab king size which only just fits in our bedroom. Two singles might be the answer but we only bought this bed last year!

He doesn't smoke weed, no. He's just always been like this but because he's so tired, I think it makes the fidgeting worse.

It's not the end of the world to sleep separately but we don't like it! He also says he sleeps better when I'm there... but I sleep much better when he's not... Sigh. This is us at our most incompatible. So I know we have it pretty good overall, but would like to try to fix this if we can.

yhpets8 Thu 28-Jul-16 10:56:57

The other thing is I've been sleeping in the baby's room, and we disturb each other, and I hate creeping in there trying not to wake her, even with the white noise going, but she's a light sleeper too like her dad

PurpleWithRed Thu 28-Jul-16 10:57:05

try out a zip + link bed (in a shop). Worth the investment of getting this right - sleep and beds are a HUGE contributor to your relationship's health!

ShebaShimmyShake Thu 28-Jul-16 11:01:36

May sound odd but does he exercise? Getting properly physically tired out every day might help.

yhpets8 Thu 28-Jul-16 21:58:17

Haven't heard of zip and link, thanks, will check it out.

He cycles to work, 20 miles a day, so yup he does exercise...

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