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Why can't i concentrate on the good and forget the bad?

(3 Posts)
Staronthewall Tue 26-Jul-16 16:53:17

I was in an abusive marriage for 15 years.

I am now with a new DP who is lovely and totally different.

However, I am finding myself very protective of myself and very unaccepting of anything but 100% perfect.

DP is kind, helpful, caring and only wants to make me happy. He works hard in a job he loves and wants a future with me.

So why cant i concentrate on those positives and be happy?

Instead, I think about and question things like 'why hasnt he planned anything with me for a while , does he not care?' When i know he does.

Its like my mind is preparing me for the worse, and i am self sabotaging the relationship by only thinking of the negatives. And they are just silly little negatives at that.

We promised eachother that we would communicate and let eachother know whenever something is up. I find myself coming out with these rediculous notions like 'You cant possibly love me if you dont want to plan to do something with me'.
He listens and I know he then feels bad, and tells me that he does and that I forget the rest of the good whilst only concentrating on the bad.

Am I being hard to be with?

JMJHMG Tue 26-Jul-16 16:54:56

I don't know OP, but I am in the same situation, so I will be watching this thread very closely...


bluebell34567 Tue 26-Jul-16 17:06:30

I think you got hurt so much in the previous relationship and still affects your way of thinking and behaviour.
maybe you need to talk to a psychologist to put this into perspective and how to change it.

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