Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

conversation with FIL - this is really offensive isn't it?!

(8 Posts)
myownperson Tue 26-Jul-16 16:42:44

Oh, can I sound off here?! I have my PIL (exPIL I guess - I'm recently separated) for the day. I have just had a car journey of relationship advice from my FIL.... grin

It's a cultural thing apparently. He has seen so many women do it to their husbands . Women from "male dominated cultures view their husbands not as partners but as the opponent" was the central theme.

Like his wife. And the woman down the road. She's all bum and tits but she's sharp and she treats her husband like the enemy.

He sees it all over. Men work long hours and then come home to grief. Woman all do it. They don't mean to.

(It's the first time I've heard that description of the woman down the road. I've always been told how alike we are! shock)

Oh my fucking god! Deep breaths.

BlackeyedSusan Tue 26-Jul-16 16:50:01

omfg indeed.

eloelo Tue 26-Jul-16 16:56:50

It says more about him than about you. It is his perception (very sexist and one sided) and he is looking at you through his filter. You don't have to take his advice, you don't have to listen to his views, but he is entitled to his opinions. You can tell him you will not take any relationship advice from him and change conversation when this topic comes in the future.

FabFiveFreddie Tue 26-Jul-16 16:57:27


And even if women in male dominated cultures do view men as their opponents, whose bloody fault would that be?? Shot himself in the foot there, no?

WellErrr Tue 26-Jul-16 16:59:53


It's all your fault. But you don't mean to do it, bless you. Still all your fault though.

myownperson Tue 26-Jul-16 18:35:58

The conversation bore no resemblance to our relationship - or breakup. (I left husband). Was all baffling.

And MIL is very dominated by him. Doesn't even speak when he's around.

I was gobsmacked by how rude he was.

And I'm from another country in the UK. Not that different to here!

Bluetrews25 Tue 26-Jul-16 21:32:56

No wonder MIL thinks he's the enemy if he dominates her!
Cause and effect.....

myownperson Tue 26-Jul-16 22:06:31

I think I was most shocked at how he kept slipping into "they" do this and "they" are all like that. It was a full on rant. I couldn't tell who "they" were. All women, non English women, the women in his life.. who knows.

Absolutely Bluetrews. He doesn't see how he treats her at all.

A PP is right, i don't have to engage and I don't.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now