Been married a long time
Eldest just off to uni
Lot of change as have just left my job
Dh and I are like flat mates or friends
I do not look forward to him comming home or miss him when he is away
He is not nasty or abusive and works hard
We normally get on on holiday but this time it just felt empty and flat
He is very introverted and although he asks about my day he says nothing about his
I ask him of course and he says things like " do you really want to know "? Meaning he was busy .
I sent him an open text y day saying I can't go on like this .he replied he really wants to fix things .
He came home overly and overtly ( for him ) chatty - by the time he got home I was tense which tends to translate in me being gruff
I was anxious as in the past he tends to suddenly be chatty to solve things then it tails off - I texted him saying I'm aware I can close down and thus is because I fear this merry go round of try then a return to Baseline
What prompted my text was he came home on Friday with wine and a good mood -chatty - this so rare and I was so pleased then I realised how much this is normally lacking
Anyway last night he continued to be v chatty but did not reuse the issue exept for did you get my text ? I just said yes
I was gruff I acknowledge but I was anxious - I shd not hve been gruff I know
He watched cricket etc and went to bed - no discussion just like normal night
He often says our problems are my fault as I don't ' encorage ' him
He had shut down I think and I told him I'm aware that he doesn't share things
For eg things were ok sex wise and he said I'm determined to keep this going it s important - it s not important to me but k get it
We get out of the habit - it's not been mentioned since exept for one joke when he said I'd be more Intrested when I finish this job . That s the only reference
I am the one who tries to resolve things - he never asks to talk and if I leave it a while communication seems to break down and I admit I withdraw
I've told him it's like we are lodgers in the same house
After last night I'm aware that I was gruff but shocked that he didn't say anything - I wait for him to tell me it's my fault as I didn't encorage him .
We have had counselling I the past
I'm unsure what to do now
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When do you know it's over ?
12 replies
ginorwine · 26/07/2016 08:03
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