15 years ago, I had a short lived relationship with a man that fizzled out because we were young, neither of us wanted to be in a serious relationship and then I moved to another country for my career.
But we stayed in touch, though that too petered eventually.
Fast forward 10 years and he contacted me after his sister died in tragic circumstances (drugs related) and we have been in touch ever since.
We both work in the same field and around the sane time his sister died, I was promoted to head a particular division that he was involved in. I wasn't his direct boss but was senior to him.
Obviously I was shocked and reached out to him in sympathy after he contacted me. We grew very close and became involved again.
But I was unsure about the relationship and broke it off. Again, it was an amicable ending. Soon after, I met my partner and we have been together ever since (5 years).
We remained in touch though, albeit sporadically.
But recently he has come forward stronger. And has said that he loves, has always loved me. And if only he could tell his younger self what he knows now, he would have proposed years ago.
I (hopefully) gently let him down saying that I was in a relationship and that it was probably best in the circumstances to cease contact.
But truth be told, I secretly I feel the same but there is so much water under the bridge now and I am in a relationship.
My DP knows about my ex and appreciates my decision to stop contact.
My relationship with DP is ok. We are stable, are able to talk and he is a good man. But we've never had real passion, even at the beginning. We have sex maybe four, five times a year. We have never had the passion and psychic communication that my ex and I have.
My ex has said he accepts that he may have lost our chance together but that I know where he is if I ever want to find it again.
I'm so confused.
What should I do?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I've realised I'm in love with an old flame
Pleaseadviseme2679 · 26/07/2016 04:06
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