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I have had enough

(15 Posts)
darksideofthemooncup Tue 26-Jul-16 02:26:41

I can't even be arsed to change my user name, I don't care if it outs me in RL.
My Dh is a dick, our business has gone into administration mainly due to his head in the sand approach to business and obsession with fucking golf. We are truly FUCKED, I want to get a job but apparently that will interfere with my ability to do my 'chores'. He wants us to work together still, despite the fact that it is making me lose my mind.

He shows zero interest in me sexually, we haven't had sex in 2 and a half years. I am 47 years old, what happened to the bright vibrant woman I was when I met him? He just will not listen to me and the icing on the cake tonight was seeing him scrolling through porn on his phone like I wasn't even there.
I don't even know why I'm posting this, I know what I need to do. I guess I just wanted to rant.

MagnifiMad Tue 26-Jul-16 02:49:03

Sorry to hear you're having a shit time.

The porn is disrespectful and yukky and the business going under is very upsetting and frustrating.

Not sure what else to say really bit didn't want to read and rub.

MagnifiMad Tue 26-Jul-16 02:49:28

*run! Didn't want to read and run!

tava63 Tue 26-Jul-16 02:51:25

That vibrant woman is definitely still there - you can still rant proves know what to do - go do it you amazing person, night night

MagnifiMad Tue 26-Jul-16 03:15:50

And yes, do what you need to do. You will find yourself again.

category12 Tue 26-Jul-16 07:09:34

Why are you there?

pallasathena Tue 26-Jul-16 07:22:28

You sound royally pissed off. I would be too in your situation. Time for a change maybe? Get your ducks in a row and get out. Life shouldn't be so sad and miserable for you, it really shouldn't.

TheNaze73 Tue 26-Jul-16 07:40:45

I agree with all the supportive posts above OP. You need an exit plan. It sounds like you dislike each other immensely

SandyY2K Tue 26-Jul-16 07:49:49

Sorry you're having a hard time right now.

If you need to get a job you don't need his permission do you. Do what you need to and what does he say about no sex in 2 and a half years?

Perhaps you need to think about yourself from now on as he seems to be doing the same.

Enforced celibacy doesn't make for a happy marriage at all.

Improvisingnow Tue 26-Jul-16 08:22:12

I'd have had enough too in your position. He's not likely to change now and stop being a lazy, entitled porn user. However, you can choose not to waste any more time with him.

You're still young and your whole life is out there waiting, what would you choose to waste any more time? Time to start researching ad taking advice on what your financial position would be alone.

darksideofthemooncup Tue 26-Jul-16 08:41:05

My financial situation is dire, hence wanting to get a job, but it's not just about the money, I miss feeling valued.
Sometimes he can be lovely but we might as well be flat mates as there is zero intimacy between us. We have an 8 year old Dd and he has had very little to do with her upbringing it has all been down to me.
I think he is afraid of me having inference financially as that will give me choices.
I am on meds for depression and anxiety again, in part due to the collapse of our business, but I could feel myself slipping back into depression before that happened.

He can't seem to grasp how selfish he is, we come way down his list of priorities, his main one being himself

darksideofthemooncup Tue 26-Jul-16 08:42:20

Independence not inference!

pinkyredrose Tue 26-Jul-16 08:52:32

I would let him stew and start looking for a job. When you've got the job you can start house hunting.

Kittencatkins123 Tue 26-Jul-16 23:47:40

He is a mega minus not a plus. You deserve a multiplies! Get out and don't look back xxx

RunRabbitRunRabbit Wed 27-Jul-16 00:07:18

You want a job.

You need a job for both financial and psychological reasons.

Get a job.

What's stopping you? Is it him telling you it will interfere with chores and dependency on him? Are those valid reasons to do the opposite of what you know to be right?

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