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Police welfare visit, is it ex harrassment?

(65 Posts)
buzzpopprince Mon 25-Jul-16 15:11:55

I'm hoping someone might have some knowledge about this. The Police visited my house on Friday evening, I was away (from the day before to today) and I had a dog-sitter staying. She said they asked for me, said it was a welfare check and when I would be back, they were in plain clothes and had showed a card (though she didnt know what the card was supposed to look like)...I have no idea what this could be, I checked Google and it seems there has to be a reason, so you think someone had a fall, or has been 'missing' or a social services report about children etc
Brief background (and why I'm concerned), earlier this year I was pregnant to what turned out to be a very controlling and abusive man. I got great advice and support on here, and from local Women's Aid...he believed I was still pregnant when I wasn't. He has legal letters sent saying I had to 'prove' I wasn't still pregnant, I did not do this.
in the end, around a month or two ago, he was served a Police harrassment warning after I gave them all the evidence. They rung me after it was served and said he was livid, and was putting in complaints to them about it, and wanted to know the exact details of what evidence they had etc. I was expecting another legal letter to go to court in October when I would have been due to 'prove' I haven't had a baby...but he is an impatient man so I doubt he could wait that long.
I know from reading this board, these men follow similar patterns, I'm worried he is keeping tabs on me through this 'welfare check' to see if I still live there (I have just been on a two week holiday also but there was housemate at the house), or to determine if I look pregnant ( I would have been six/seven months now) or to show me he is still watching.... I'm scared what he will do if he gets evidence I am not pregnant. How can I make sure the Police do not tell him this? And would this count as indirect harrassment? (he previously rung the hospital demanding my medical records and they said that was indirect harrassment)
Any help/advice most appreciated...I would move but I can't for another year as my daughter is at college nearby, and it's so expensive
Thanks for reading

OurBlanche Mon 25-Jul-16 15:17:07

Call 101 or contact your local police station and ask them to check as a matter of urgency, given his past record. Tell them you are scared he has hired someone to pretend to be police officers, that he is trying to scare you and remind them of the prior warning.

Be as matter of fact as you can, but leave them in no doubt that you are very, very frightened of what this man might do...

scurryfunge Mon 25-Jul-16 15:18:36

If you are sure that no one else has had genuine concern for your welfare then it could easily be your ex using the police. I think the only way you will know is if you contact the police. Did they leave their details?

Lunde Mon 25-Jul-16 15:21:46

I agree that you should call your local station find out if this was a genuine Police check or whether your ex has hired people to impersonate Police officers

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Mon 25-Jul-16 15:22:43

Generally, IME a welfare check would be done by uniformed officers, and not plain-clothes (CID?). So something doesn't sound quite right here...

Pestilence13610 Mon 25-Jul-16 15:24:20

Do phone the local station, they might be doing a welfare check because they know he is a nutter. If he has been complaining to them, they will be worried what he is doing to you.

UnexpectedBaggage Mon 25-Jul-16 15:24:37

Something not right. Talk to the police.

Ditsy4 Mon 25-Jul-16 15:24:40

So sorry to hear this.
1. I would ring the police and identify whether they had sent anyone. Just in case it was your ex who sent someone. It could be that they were just checking there was no more harassment.

2. I would look around the area and see if there was any available accommodation. You could also check churches. I go to church and we have several properties which are let to people in need. They are sometimes offered at a lower rent.
3. If you do manage to move you can sometimes get help with expenses from charities or you might get practical help like a man with a van an some people to help. This includes church charities like St. Vincent De Paul or Salvation Army.
4. Go to a police station and ask them to show you ID if No.1 proves to be an imposter. Then you will know for future reference. Or if someone arrives ask them to wait and phone and check. A Police officer/welfare wouldn't be offended.
Hope you are ok.

gamerchick Mon 25-Jul-16 15:25:29

I remember you, I'm so sorry to hear he's still hanging around.

I agree, ring the police station and find out if they were genuine, get them back up to speed and again hammer home you want to be left alone.

Goingtobeawesome Mon 25-Jul-16 15:27:37

I remember you and I'm sorry you are still being upset by this man, but not surprised. Call the police. This can't be allowed to carry on.

SixtiesChildOfWildBlueSkies Mon 25-Jul-16 15:28:57

I remember your previous thread though I didn't post on it. I have no advice to offer as it seems that PP's have said it already, but yes, it doesn't seem 'right' somehow.

I hope that at some point this person finally leaves you alone as no one deserves to be hounded like this.
Your life, your body is nothing to do with him.

Good luck flowers

SandyY2K Mon 25-Jul-16 15:31:11

Phone your local police station and find out if they called round and who instigated the call. They should have an informant on record.

They should have shown their warrant cards with picture ID.

A welfare check is done if someone is concerned about you. I've worked for the police before and know when they are usually done.

So if a neighbour hasn't seen you for a while, they can report their concerns

Or when you don't showup for work or respond to calls or messages, you can get a welfare check.

Once they know you're okay, that should be the end of it.

Can the dog sitter describe these people ?

SandyY2K Mon 25-Jul-16 15:41:11


In the meantime do not open your front door unless you are expecting someone and they identify themselves.

Even if they say they are the police, don't open the door and tell them you are fine from the outside.

Put the latch on and request their warrant/ shoulder number, ask for their name and the name of their sergeant and inspector. Also ask what police station they are attached to.
If they are genuine, they will have no issue with it.

If it's the police they'll likely leave a card to get in touch with them.

If you can install a security camera zoned in on your front door then do so. I don't think it's that costly, you just need to be tech savvy.

The truth is anyone who was concerned about you who knows you, would have called you.

ElspethFlashman Mon 25-Jul-16 15:44:37

I remember you. I'm glad you didn't have to provide medical records to his solicitor and all that nonsense.

Have you rang the police station for an explanation?

aginghippy Mon 25-Jul-16 15:54:06

Oh buzzpop sorry you are still going through this flowers

pinkunicornsarefluffy Mon 25-Jul-16 15:55:36

I agree with the others who say ring 101 and clarify if it was a genuine Police visit. If it wasn't, then you can log that at the same time. He is obviously on the police radar after last time.

I think I remember your thread, unless I am thinking of a different person.

buzzpopprince Mon 25-Jul-16 15:55:53

Thank you for your responses. I just rung the local Police station, they said they wouldn't have it on the system and to ring 101.
I'm in tears now because I rung 101, and they have no record of it on their system, but they said they have lots of systems, and it could have been reported by someone by email or letter on another system, they said it would be like looking for a needle in a haystack and that I should have told the pet-sitter in advance to get the people's details and in future to do so, so not helpful at all (hindsight's a wonderful thing...)
They also said they should have left a card or something (they didn't), but occasionally they might send plain clothes if that's the only car available.
I asked them how do I keep safe, should I ring Women's Aid or the MARAC worker again and he said they wouldn't be able to do anything either, so I guess I will just wait...he said to ring and verify whoever was visiting but I don't see how since 101 don't have it on record

buzzpopprince Mon 25-Jul-16 15:57:21

101 also wouldn't log it that I had rung. He said that they couldn't do that, because there is no such thing as 'logging it' and I could be anyone.

NotQuiteSoOnEdge Mon 25-Jul-16 16:04:19

That last bit is wrong. I have rung 101 and had incidents logged on many occasions. Did you ask to be put through to the specialist DV team?

Pestilence13610 Mon 25-Jul-16 16:05:00

Make a complaint. IPCC You want to know why your local police are so bad at tracking their own actions as this leaves you at risk of the police being used by your ex to perpertrate harrassment.
flowers This all sounds very shit

FreeFromHarm Mon 25-Jul-16 16:29:48

Are you under MARAC ? Have you an IDFA? A welfare check is exactly what it is .. To check you are safe , they will return and you should ask when they return that you want safeguarding of your property ok.
You can get a restraining order and non molestation order if he is in breach of the harassment order, hopefully you should get legal aid.

tornandhurt Mon 25-Jul-16 16:31:47

Do you fell able to go in person to your local station? Sitting in front of someone is a lot better than an operator on the phone sometimes and you'll probably be able to get your concerns across better.

buzzpopprince Mon 25-Jul-16 16:43:25

Rung 101 again, spoke to a woman who did indeed log the details, and ex details and gave me a reference number.
She is going to refer it to local police station and make enquiries to find out who visited from there and said they will get back to me.
I'm not under MARAC anymore I don't think

Pestilence13610 Mon 25-Jul-16 16:49:16

Well done for calling again. A much better outcome.

Claraoswald36 Mon 25-Jul-16 16:51:03

Hi buzz. Remember your previous threads well. Seems very suspect. I am not omnipotent but welfare checks are often done after incidents of dv. I have had the local police ring me (I am a SW) to find out if I have heard from client x since an incident and because I haven't/couldn't make contact with them they had gone ahead and done the welfare visit and ring me straight back with a report.
Secondly the police did a welfare visit once for me when I couldn't get hold of my mum for days. She had gone on a trip to the isle of wigjt last minute ffs but they went to the house within couple of hours of me ringing. Ergo if someone has asked for a visit it's because they can't get hold of you so if it was a concerned neighbour or friend you would know!!
I think it's the ex

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