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Asking too much from younger partner?

(13 Posts)
MisaLisa Mon 25-Jul-16 14:00:35

I have been hitting it off with a man much younger than myself. I’m 35 and he's 23. He is lovely and treats me so much better than any of my previous ex's did.
We have been together for a couple of years and our relationship and love life has never been stronger. He is great with my DD and he is someone I would really like to spend the rest of my life with.
The obvious problem is the age gap and him being so young, would it be fair on me to ask someone that young for lifelong commitment?hmm

nightandthelight Mon 25-Jul-16 14:19:35

I can't really comment on the age gap but DH was 21 when he proposed to me, 22 when we got married and 24 when we had DS so no I don't think 23 is too young for a lifelong commitment smile Have you talked to him about plans for the future?

timegate Mon 25-Jul-16 14:23:53

I don't think 23 is too young. I know quite a lot of men who were married by that age.

Whathaveilost Mon 25-Jul-16 14:29:38

It could work out maybe. It does seem very young to be settling down.
Out of my friendship groups, social groups and work groups I don't know of anyone that age that has settled down at that age. ( I am talking about my friend's, colleagues and others children and grand children)
Just go with the flow and see what happens.

MisaLisa Mon 25-Jul-16 14:45:25

nightandthelight He hasn't made any lifelong goals, right now he is just building himself in his job. I personally feel a little guilty trying to tempt him into a commitment.

timegate & Whathaveilost Is marriage a wrong direction to take? Both my parents were never married, but stayed happily together to date. I just want some way to keep this relationship together the best I can.

TheNaze73 Mon 25-Jul-16 14:54:12

I don't think the age gap is that relevant to be honest. It's only been 2 years as well, so I'd be enjoying each other's company & be looking forward no further than the next date.

nightandthelight Mon 25-Jul-16 14:54:18

So he doesn't know whether he wants marriage/kids Misa? DH did want these things, our compromise ended up being over timescales. I don't think he would have committed if he didn't have those long term goals.

mrsbrightside3 Mon 25-Jul-16 15:26:54

I was a very mature 23 year old when I married my 35 year old exdh. Our marriage worked for a long time ( I was 36 when we got divorced).
The age gap really didn't matter and we had 3 dc together.

MisaLisa Mon 25-Jul-16 15:34:40

Ok, I think I'll push him a little to see if I can get an idea on where he expects things to go.
I would imagine he would want a child and I'm totally fine with that, he's shown that he is more than capable.

SandyY2K Mon 25-Jul-16 15:47:26

I think it's a bit young personally.

peskyfeelings Mon 25-Jul-16 15:49:19

You need to speak to him OP.

My DP is 16 years younger than me and in his early twenties, so I speak from personal experience.

I totally appreciate the terror of fearing that the person you want to be with may not be on the same page. Somehow it feels easier to say nothing. In my case I went that way for a long time, but finally I couldn't take it any longer and we had the talk.

In our case we are not trying for a baby and hoping to get married next Summer, so it can work! Good luck. smile

peskyfeelings Mon 25-Jul-16 15:49:42

Now trying that should read...

CleanKingdom Mon 25-Jul-16 16:00:44

I got married at 21 and never regretted it. He obviously loves you - when you know, you know! smile (also I'm 7 years younger than my husband).

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