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Need advice on leaving relationship

(6 Posts)
Twixie5867 Sat 23-Jul-16 23:18:33

This is quite lengthy so please bear with me.

I am in a 10 yr relationship with a 2 yr old daughter. The relationship has always had its problems but its got to the stage where I now want to leave. The relationship is bordering on elements of domestic abuse (not violence) but for the first time recently I felt scared and obviously have my daughter to think about.

We have a joint mortgage on a 3 bed property and I had an agreement put together when we bought, which stipulates that if we were to split I get 72% and he gets 28% which reflects what we each put in.

I am a stay at home mum and have discovered that I am probably not entitled to any benefit support because I have savings which take me just over the limit that you can have.

My options had previously been to:
a) Buy my partner out (with the help of my retired parents) and remain in the house
b) Sell the house and buy or rent something smaller.

However, I can't take on the mortgage myself as a lender will not lend to me because I have no income. For the same reason, I therefore cannot buy something smaller (with a mortgage) or rent.

I obviously have savings to fall back on but the money won't last forever and because I have no family nearby, would have to pay for childcare. I could get a job but this means I would be working to pay literally just for childcare and have nothing left to live on. I know that my partner would have to provide some sort of maintenance but this will of course be for my daughter, not my cost of living, and the money is never guaranteed.

I can't see how I can move forward so wondered if anyone has been in a similar position or can offer any advice?

Thanks in advance.

ItsASunnyDay Sun 24-Jul-16 07:23:51

Sounds unbearable. What a tricky situation. Bumping for you in the hope that someone helpful will come along soon. flowers

Sendmylove Sun 24-Jul-16 07:27:58

Tax credits don't take into account savings so you would be entitled to something there. If you worked you could get help towards childcare costs (depends how much you earn.)

BitOutOfPractice Sun 24-Jul-16 07:34:41

If you used your savings to help but him out, would that make the mortgage affordable?

BitOutOfPractice Sun 24-Jul-16 07:35:02

Buy not but

category12 Sun 24-Jul-16 07:36:26

Don't tax credits have a childcare element? I think you're dismissing working as an option rather oddly. Selling up, downsizing or renting are not the end of the world, but yeah, working is your way forward. Lots of women do it on their own.

You have savings, you have the right to over 75% of the house as an asset. There are people in far worse financial positions than you. You're not going to be as comfortable, but it's doable. And being out of a bad marriage is well worth it. Your fences keeping you there are his - and your own - knock them down.

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