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What is going on.. DH ignoring me

(20 Posts)
IAmTheBadOne Fri 22-Jul-16 21:19:56

Will start with a rant sorry..

Took children to pizza tonight - DH said lets watch film and have a cuddle in bed, came back, DH did not want to help with DSs so I put them to bed. By the time I was done he was asleep in the bedroom. I asked if he wants to watch something, he said he is sleeping.

I haven't seen him much this week (he has been unwell on Mon, worked Tue night, was moody with me Wed evening and went to bed, stayed with his friends last night on Thu and now he is asleep. I miss him and I was really looking forward to nice time together.

So I got a bit emotional and said that i would like some time with him to when ch he replied half asleep - don't have a go at me again I just want to sleep. I replied that I feel like I don't have a husband and I need this partnership, I need to feel like I am with someone as I don't actually do. He totally ignored me. I shouted that in this case I will look elsewhere and consider affair. He did not even twitch ... I left the room and he still snores

How sad is this sad

Am I being unreasonable miserable spoilt child?

Msqueen33 Fri 22-Jul-16 21:22:25

It sounds perhaps like there's more going on than just what has happened this week. How have things been in general?

IAmTheBadOne Fri 22-Jul-16 21:25:31

Not great tbh

We had a massive issue about a month ago about finances which he is sorting out as I have him an ultimatum

He has a very social job which I find hard at the times with him being away 2-3 evenings a week

Shizzlestix Fri 22-Jul-16 21:25:47

Is it just this week? Is he just unwell and wants to be left in his own little cloud of misery or is he like this a lot?

IAmTheBadOne Fri 22-Jul-16 21:26:02

Sorry I gave him an ultimatum.. Can't type properly!

IAmTheBadOne Fri 22-Jul-16 21:27:03

He can be like this a lot. He is on anxiety pills and has a lot of medication to sort out his high blood pressure.

IAmTheBadOne Fri 22-Jul-16 21:30:56

I know his work has been very high pressure in last two weeks due to staff shortage/new recruits so I was thinking that was it and tried to give him some space but I simply need to feel like there is someone here for me..

Shizzlestix Fri 22-Jul-16 21:32:42

Have you asked him to sit down and discuss this without the DCs round?

IAmTheBadOne Fri 22-Jul-16 21:37:19

Yes. When we talk about it he knows exactly what I need - I am really clear about it and it is not unreasonable

1/ feel loved and appreciated
2/ him proving to me he is sensible with money
3/ helping me out more with children

He is fully committed at the time but the. He slips again.. So when I remind him he tells me I just have a go at him again

I don't think I expect too much, do I?

minatiae Fri 22-Jul-16 21:44:40

I think it depends on what time it was. I wouldn't appreciate being given a hard time for sleeping if it was late (ie after 10pm), so if it was normal sleeping time and not 7pm or something I think YABU, but if it was early and he was 'sleeping' as an excuse to avoid spending time with you then yanbu.

IAmTheBadOne Fri 22-Jul-16 21:48:01

It was an hour ago, just after 8pm. The point is we said we would spent some time together..

MonicaLewinskisFlange Fri 22-Jul-16 21:48:20

Other issues aside (and it sounds like these are the real sources of your upset), but at the risk of being shot down, perhaps he was just really tired tonight? Maybe it wasn't a symptom of your relationship issues, he was just knackered at the end of a long week, and when you tried to talk to him he was in a sleep fog and just wanted to be allowed to go back to sleep?
Sorry if that is way off the mark, but you might just be reading too much into it. Men are simple creatures!

Food. Sex. Sleep. What else do they need? wink

IAmTheBadOne Fri 22-Jul-16 21:50:14

Monica - you put a smile to my face smile

I found it a bit too often though. Let's see what tomorrow morning brings, I will try to stay positive - thank you

MonicaLewinskisFlange Fri 22-Jul-16 21:51:40

I suggest a nice cuppa wine and chocolate and enjoy a TV night not having to fight over the remote. Then arrange to have time together tomorrow evening instead.

AnecdotalEvidence Fri 22-Jul-16 21:51:43

If he was asleep, then regardless of what time it was, it was the wrong time for a discussion, you're not going to get anything helpful from him when he's half asleep.
Talk to him when he is properly awake.

MonicaLewinskisFlange Fri 22-Jul-16 21:55:22

I think Graham Norton is on later. My DH hates him, so I enjoy watching it when he is doing something else when I'm really fucked off with him, I'll put Jamie Oliver on grin

IAmTheBadOne Fri 22-Jul-16 21:58:56

Hahaha... Yes I am sat in my lounge with TV on and a glass of wine. Men....!!

Mattscap Fri 22-Jul-16 22:02:40

Why did he stay at his friends last night? Is that usual?

IAmTheBadOne Fri 22-Jul-16 22:06:27

Sorry he did not stay overnight, just met friends for a drink and came back around midnight (not even too drunk)

IAmTheBadOne Fri 22-Jul-16 22:07:44

He never stays out overnight - I do it occasionally when I go out with my girlfriends so I can enjoy a child free night/no 5am waking up..

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