Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

All the bad things....

(9 Posts)
FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname Fri 22-Jul-16 13:59:55

ExDp and I have broken up, fairly recently. Things have been difficult and I'm struggling to get over it. So I'm going to write a list of all (or most) of the negative things about him/that he did/does to try and remind myself a) why we are not together anymore and b) to stop myself from trying to get back with him. Maybe also to remind myself that I deserve better. So here goes:

He is obsessed with cars. Literally has no other interests.

Expected me to be really really into cars too (I'm not, they're boring and confusing to me).

Took no interest in anything I was into. Would outright tell me he didn't care or wasn't interested if I tried talking about something I enjoyed.


Really tight fisted with money. His idea of a romantic date was KFC or Wetherspoons. If we did go anywhere pricier he would complain that he could get the same thing cheaper elsewhere and grumble.

Boring. He never wanted to go out or do anything because he was either tired from working so much or just couldn't be arsed.

Emotionally monotone. Never really got happy or angry, or at least he never showed it. Refused to open up to me and talk about his feelings.

Very critical. About everything.

Blamed me for everything, silly things like moving something he had put on the table. Everything wrong was always because I had done something, never him.

Joked about me in front of his friends/family.

Generally grumpy and negative.

Expected me to do all the housework because he worked full time and I only work part time (I'm also a full time student).

Left random car parts all over the house and expected me to tidy up after him. But of course he got annoyed if I moved anything because then he couldn't find it.

Was not supportive of either my hobbies or studying.

Very rarely ever put himself out for me unless it was to fix my vehicle or give me a lift somewhere.

Would chat to other women about his problems/feelings but not to me.

Really really hurt me on/around my birthday (emotionally).

Made almost no effort around birthdays/Christmas. Any presents I did get were chosen by other people and just paid for by him. He felt that because he didn't like/didn't celebrate either of those occasions that he shouldn't really be expected to do it for me.

Broke up with me but still seems to expect me to be up for sex.

Broke up with me but still seems to expect me to cook and do the chores for him like I did before.

There's probably more but I can't think of any others right now. Sorry it's so long I just need to get it all out.

winkywinkola Fri 22-Jul-16 14:28:58


You can certainly enjoy life a whole lot more from on.

Your ex sounds horrendous!

Go and have some fun. Eat in a lovely restaurant. Make sure you get yourself a brilliant birthday present in future.

And every day pat yourself on the back for getting away from such a dull, uninspiring, stingy man.

Sassypants82 Fri 22-Jul-16 14:35:06

Are you still living together?

ImperialBlether Fri 22-Jul-16 14:37:13

I think you'll recover really well from this. Every day you'll feel like you're on holiday - it'll be lovely to just enjoy things without him stopping you.


TheNaze73 Fri 22-Jul-16 14:39:09

He sounds like a bundle of fun....

You've done the right thing, as you know OP flowers

FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname Fri 22-Jul-16 14:58:29

I didn't do it though, he did. Because he wants someone who is more into cars. I, and all that I do for him, am not good enough apparently.

I know I'll be ok I'm just not right now (stupidly).

Yes we are sassy. Only temporarily until I can find somewhere else to go, I don't really have any family or friends I can stay with so I'm here for the time being.

hellsbellsmelons Fri 22-Jul-16 15:32:13

Wow what a catch he is!????
Please don't have sex with him or cook for him or clean or tidy etc...
I really hope you can get away soon.
Sounds like you are ready to get out there and find something more exciting.
About time too.
Don't be tempted to go back.
This all sounds very familiar and I'm sure we've all told you before to LTB.
Stick to it this time!
We are usually right smile

StarsAligning Fri 22-Jul-16 15:51:54

Ok here's mine no way I want to get back with him though

Smokes pot
Locks himself away and plays computer games
Emotionally unavailable
Expects me to listen to his ranting and raving about shit
Wants everyone to know how depressed he is or how difficult it is
Or how busy he is
Gets angry I move things, thinks I'm playing mind games
Bangs on and fucking on, same stories over and over
Doesn't wash regularly
Hasn't looked after his teeth - now all falling out
Dirty pants
Quite often threatens suicidal thoughts
Used to try and get me to have sex because it's good for his mental health
Shit sex

Should have done it a long time ago.

FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname Fri 22-Jul-16 16:51:40

Stars that sounds very much like my exH! You're definitely better off smile

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now